Four Ways to Build Trust

by

Local Church

As I wrote previously, trust is everything. As a leader, the most important thing you can do is to develop trust. This is more than just people trusting you. It’s also developing a culture of trust. But, it starts with you. If people can’t trust you as a leader, you’re not likely to build a culture of trust.

Here are four specific ways that I’ve found that build trust.

Extend Trust (be vulnerable)

In his “WorkLife” podcast, psychologist Adam Grant shows how people from different backgrounds can build trust. Specifically he focuses on astronauts at the International Space Station who come from different countries. Grant points out that most people think you need to build trust before you can be vulnerable, but the opposite is true. You need to be vulnerable to build trust.

This is hard because it exposes us to hurt or even betrayal. But, Grant is right.

My own experience is that extending trust to others is the best way to build trust. Instead of waiting for someone to earn your trust, you can trust them first. This will make you vulnerable. People may try to take advantage of you. But, as a leader, trusting others, even before they have earned it, is a gift. It shows respect for the other and a belief in their best self. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Even if it doesn’t end well and you get played, over time, by extending unearned trust, you will build a culture of trust. What I’ve seen is the vast majority of people will repay your extension of trust by being trustworthy. That’s contagious and enables your ministry or organization to be its best.

Being vulnerable is difficult, but self-differentiation helps. By knowing who you are, being able to express that in non-anxious ways, and giving others the freedom to disagree, you are more able to be vulnerable. You realize that when you extend trust and are betrayed, it says less about you and more about the other. It’s quite freeing.

Find Common Ground through Origin Stories

Grant shares the story of one expedition that included astronauts from the U.S., Italy and Russia. They had major cultural differences and needed to figure out a way to build trust. How did they do it? A facilitator brought them together and asked, “Why did you want to become an astronaut? And, how did you get here?”

Grant says, “When someone discloses something personal, you start to see them more as an individual rather than a group or a stereotype. Trust develops as you learn about their family, their hobbies, their origin story.”

I help with Licensing School, which is required for local pastors when they first start their ministry. The first thing that we do is to ask them to share their call story. They share how they were called to ministry and how they ended up answering yes. Because time is limited, I keep a timer. So they only get a few minutes each. Even so, it’s amazing how quickly a sense of camaraderie develops.

Be Trustworthy

This may seem obvious, but it has to be mentioned. If you don’t keep your word, you can’t be trusted.

There are a few simple things to keep in mind:

  • Do what you say you are going to do.
  • Admit your mistakes.
  • Judge others by their intentions, judge yourself by your actions.

The last one is REALLY important. And it doesn’t mean be judgmental. It means give others a break. We tend to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. I wrote a whole blog post on this.When you reverse this tendency you become a person people want to trust.

Put the Mission First

People will always look to a leader to see if he or she is self-serving. When you put the mission of your organization first, you’re answering the question with action, not words. Leading by example builds trust when you show that your highest concern is not for yourself, but for the common purpose you are all serving. Again this may seem obvious, but sometimes it’s easier said than done.

If you read my stuff, you know I am all about trying to be a non-anxious presence. None of us is perfect. The best we can hope for is to be this way about 70% of the time. If you can get to that threshold as a leader, you will see amazing results.

Building trust is one of the best ways to get there and being a non-anxious presence will help you build trust. It’s a virtuous cycle that’s worth paying attention to.

The Rev. Jack Shitama serves as the Executive Director of Pecometh Camp & Retreat Ministries in Centreville, MD. This post is republished with permission from Jack Shitama's Blog for Christian Leaders.