Emotional intelligence
Leadership is an essential aspect of every congregational community. As a leader, you set the tone for how the congregation functions. However, even the most faithful congregation could become divisive, chaotic, or unproductive without effective leadership. One of the often-overlooked characteristics of effective leaders is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to how well you manage your own emotions and responses and react to those of others. Leaders with high EI can foster an environment of trust, respect, and cooperation, leading to a harmonious and effective congregation.
All this is to say that an emotionally intelligent leader knows how to lead with influence and impact.
Want to become an emotionally intelligent leader? It all begins with being self-aware of your own emotions and understanding how they impact those around you.
Over the years, I have helped countless people discover how to lead better with emotional intelligence. One of the ways I have done this is by helping leaders develop a deeper sense of self-awareness through the DiSC® model.
This model offers a unique perspective on how you function by examining your ways of being through different behavioral dimensions: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness. Each domain represents a preferred style of behavior, and understanding these preferences can greatly enhance emotional intelligence in the context of your leadership, allowing you to tailor your leadership approach to meet the diverse needs of your congregation.
Let’s explore how emotional intelligence and the DiSC® model work hand in hand to empower congregational leaders and create a thriving community.
Strategies for Developing Emotional Intelligence in Congregational Leaders
Like most skills, the good news is that EI can be developed and honed over time. Here are some strategies that you, as a church leader, can use to improve your EI skills:
1) Practice mindfulness and self-awareness to better understand your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
Mindfulness and self-awareness are essential to greater understanding of yourself. Instead of reacting to worries or intrusive thoughts, you can observe them. Becoming aware of how your body copes with what you’re feeling helps to acknowledge the feeling with more clarity and embrace better solutions. You learn to understand yourself objectively and nonjudgmentally.
2) Understand the emotions of others by practicing active listening, seeking feedback, and managing and regulating emotions-leveraging them to build deep relationships with congregants and community.
If you want to understand the feelings and perspectives of congregants, it’s essential to practice active listening. This decreases assumptions and increases understanding. Plus, it encourages further conversation. Gathering feedback can also help to form an in-depth picture of emotions. A great way to manage and recognize feelings is through emotion regulation. Learning about the nuances of emotions can be beneficial when building relationships with congregants. Leveraging insight into emotions deepens connections and helps eliminate communication obstacles.
3) Enhance communication by controlling non-verbal signals and being empathetic towards others.
Developing your capacity for empathy can play an integral role in improving communication. Listening actively to what others are saying without jumping to conclusions can help ensure full understanding between both parties. Controlling nonverbal cues also has a big impact — facial expressions, body posture, and hand motions add meaningful context to conversations and should be considered during exchanges. These unspoken cues are present not just in your direct communications with others, but also in your worship leadership experiences.
4) Encourage conflict resolution by creating opportunities for congregants to express themselves and work towards a mutual solution.
Ensuring everyone feels heard and acknowledged is key to effective conflict resolution. Congregants must be able to express their thoughts and feelings freely in a safe space. By doing so, congregations can more easily move toward mutually acceptable solutions. Creating an atmosphere conducive to peace-making is essential. Encouraging community members to work together toward resolution not only helps strengthen relationships and grow trust among peers but will also foster an environment of understanding and unity.
Effective leadership is the glue that holds a congregation together. While strong EI skills alone won’t solve all your challenges as a leader, they will go a long way toward creating a harmonious and productive congregational culture. A leader with high EI can communicate and empathize well with their congregants, handle conflict, and build transformative relationships. So, you should strive to cultivate EI in yourself, your colleagues, and the congregation you serve, to deepen your connections and lead more effectively.
If you’re ready to take the next step in developing your emotional intelligence and becoming a fully formed leader, I invite you to explore the power of the DiSC® model further. Join our Creating a Culture of Renewal® cohort where you’ll learn about the DiSC® dimensions and gain valuable insights and practical tools to become an emotionally intelligent leader. Creating a Culture of Renewal® is an award-winning three-year program designed to help you navigate the complexities of congregational leadership and empower you to create a culture of renewal within your community.
Register for our free How Christian Ministries are Achieving Success: An Introduction to Creating a Culture of Renewal® seminar to learn more.
Together, we can create thriving congregations led by emotionally intelligent leaders, who positively impact the lives of those around them.
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