Conflict resolution
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Conflict is an undeniable reality in any community, including the church. If not handled properly, conflict can result in division, hurt, and, ultimately, a decline in the church’s influence and effectiveness. However, you can take practical steps to resolve conflicts within your church. Even if things don’t come out the way you want them to, you can lead your spiritual community toward a path of unity and peace.
The early church faced many challenges when it tried to integrate wildly different religious traditions, world views, and cultural expectations into one unified community. It was tough work. People being people, gossip, “my-way-ism”, and bitterness were rampant. This led to ongoing conflict. Yet, they managed to work out their differences and successfully create the church as we know it. Let’s see what lessons we can learn from the early church in overcoming conflict and what action steps you can take.
Gossip
In the book of Acts, people felt threatened about the inclusion of non-Jews in the community. This idea of including Gentiles was a radical departure of the way things had been done in the past. So, they gossiped. This gossip spread discord and undermined relationships. It threatened to splinter the new relationships that were forming. (See Acts 11:1-3) However, the early church set a remarkable example in handling gossip by directly communicating with the individuals involved and diligently working towards restoring relationships.
Lessons from the early church: Take a good look at yourself. If you gossip about others, stop. While it feels powerful in the moment, gossip can do more damage than good. If you hear others gossiping, ask them to stop. Seek out others hurt by gossip and apologize to them. Express a genuine openness towards others who are different than you. By doing so, you serve as a peacemaker in your community and promote unity.
My Way-ism
Vigorous debate marked many important decisions outlined in the New Testament. Debate turned to disagreement when people insisted on “my-way-ism.” They suffered from an inability to lay aside their own ideas in favor of a common vision and purpose. The lack of a common vision and purpose was at the root of inclusion of Jews and Gentiles in a single community, financial support for the larger church, and responses to persecution. All of this debate and disagreement led Paul to write these words to the Ephesians: “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). Miraculously, early church leaders collaborated to find common ground, ultimately establishing a shared vision and purpose.
Lessons from the early church: Whether your conflicts are about building projects, budget constraints, or matters of human sexuality, there is something you can do. The first thing is to engage in active listening. Seek an understanding of the perspectives of others. Remember, the motivations behind another’s views may be vastly different, or surprisingly similar, to yours. The key is to inquire and ask; proper understanding can only be achieved through open dialogue. This allows you to find common ground to move forward in unity.
Bitterness
Paul and Barnabas who had once been inseparable, were divided over a deep dispute of the trustworthiness of John Mark (Acts 15:36-41). In a moment of bitterness, Paul and Barnabas went their separate ways. Paul took Silas to Syria and Cilicia. Meanwhile, Barnabas took John Mark and set sail for Cyprus. It’s unclear if this break in the relationship was ever mended. In contrast, addressing conflict constructively led to reconciliation and unity, as seen in resolving the dispute over Gentile believers in Acts.
Lessons from the early church: When division leads to bitterness, don’t just turn your back on the conflict. Don’t gossip about the other. Don’t insist on things going your way. Instead, seek resolution by approaching the other with a listening ear. Pray for guidance and wisdom, and strive to find common ground that aligns with the church’s overarching mission and purpose.
The Church: Then and Now
The early church’s experiences reveal that conflict is not new to the church and will likely not go away anytime soon. As a church leader or member, you are responsible for guarding the church’s unity, addressing conflicts when they arise, and seeking resolution that honors God and builds up God’s people. We can learn from the past and apply those lessons to current situations. Constructive approaches to conflict resolution include openness, a willingness to listen, and a focus on unity.
Don’t wait until the next conflict arises; be proactive in building a healthy community within your church. If you are ready to take the next step, join me for an upcoming free seminar, How Christian Ministries are Achieving Success: An Introduction to Creating a Culture of Renewal®. You will learn how to cultivate a culture of renewal in your church while addressing conflicts effectively.
I have helped thousands of church leaders learn how to address conflict constructively. Now, in the wake of disaffiliations and polarizing disagreement, this is more important than ever. if you’d like to connect individually, my team and I would be happy to hear from you. To reach out to us, simply fill out this short form and we’ll be in touch! I look forward to hearing from you.
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