Do Not Judge

The Non-Anxious Leader

by

Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For the judgment you give will be the judgment you get, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.     – Matthew 7:1-5 (NRSV)

Jesus clearly defines the difference between taking responsibility for self and blaming, criticizing and overfunctioning. Self-differentiation is about knowing where you end and another begins. It’s being able to maintain healthy boundaries so that you don’t take on the stress of other people’s lives.

More importantly, self-differentiation is about realizing that the only person you can change is yourself. Trying to change others is not only futile, it will get you stuck in a conflict of wills. There’s always a plank in your own eye, and the speck in the eye of your neighbor is not your responsibility.

Finally, the instruction to avoid judging others is not for their sake. It’s to free us from focusing on others so we can take responsibility for self. This is not so we can be selfish or self-centered, it’s so we can be honest about our shortcomings and our need for God’s grace. What’s counterintuitive about this is that when we do this, God’s grace not only helps us to become less anxious, it enables us to be more loving and accepting of others. Just like Jesus.

Recommendations

This week's recommendations are about what effective leaders do.

​Why Repeating Yourself Is a Good Thing by Adam Grant. I found myself referencing the research in this brief, but compelling article several times this week. The big takeaway, "When you hesitate to repeat your ideas, you don’t just fail to get your point across—you also come across as if you don’t care." Leadership through self-differentiation is about casting vision and direction AND remaining emotionally connected.

​Some questions by Seth Godin. This article will take you a minute read. If you want to make a difference in the world, these are questions that you'll want to ask yourself regularly.

Podcast

Episode 191 of The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast, 8 Questions to Help You through Challenging Situations, is now available.