Balance scales
Photo Courtesy of Jack Shitama
“Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30
It started with 10. The Commandments, that is.
The Israelites considered the Ten Commandments a gift to the people that showed them how to live in life-giving relationship with God and each other. But we humans have a way of messing things up.
By the time Jesus came along Judaism had developed over 600 laws. There were laws for everything including what to eat, what to wear, how to purify after any number of life circumstances and how to observe the sabbath.
According the Pharisees, who were the chief enforcers of the law, looking in the mirror or lighting a candle violated the sabbath, although you could hire a gentile to light the candle for you. They had confused personal preferences with divine law. These were (literally) man-made standards that produced inconsistencies, a judgmental spirit and a false standard of righteousness.
What was intended as gift, God’s law, was transformed into a burden.
Enter Jesus. In this passage he’s inviting people to be free from religious expectations so they can focus on God in a healthy way. He notes that people are “heavy-laden,” overloaded with religious rules that lead to shame for self and judgment of others.
Jesus says stick with me, hitch yourself to me, and you will find rest for your soul. A good translation of the word rest is “refreshment,” which implies personal renewal. He is telling us that his way, God’s way, is easy.
Everywhere I go I hear the same thing. “We need more volunteers. We need more people to step up as leaders.”
In the broader realm, most people I know feel overburdened in some way with work, caring for kids and/or parents, family expectations, financial struggles, health issues, etc. The list is long.
People are burned out. This was happening before the pandemic but COVID exasperated and accelerated the trend.
Jesus promises us a different way.
There are two translations of the word “yoke” in this passage that I find helpful.
The first is the one most people think of, which is when animals work side-by-side, enabling them to work in unison. When you watch a group of yoked animals there is always one that leads. The leader will step just slightly before the others and the rest follow.
When we’re yoked to Jesus our burden is light because we allow him to lead.
The second translation of “yoke” is the piece that connects two sides of a balance scale. When we’re yoked to Jesus, he helps us keep our lives in balance.
Non-anxious leaders are self-differentiated because it enables them to focus on where they believe God is leading, regardless of the surrounding togetherness pressure to conform to the norms of the relationship system. It may seem hard at first but it actually makes the burden lighter.
The important thing to remember is that this only happens by the grace of God. Spiritual practices are essential because they not only help us discern God’s will for our lives, they remind us that it’s God’s grace that will work through us and sustain us.
I love Eugene Peterson’s version of this passage in The Message: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Do you want to be a non-anxious leader? Connect to Jesus. Let him lead you. Then let him teach you the unforced rhythms of grace. That’s where you’ll find refreshment and renewal.
Reflection Questions:
Where do you feel pressure to conform?
What spiritual practices are a means of grace for you?
How can self-differentiation help you to follow Jesus and not surrounding togetherness pressure?
Recommendations
This week's recommendations continue the theme of having a balanced life.
3 Types of Burnout, and How to Overcome Them by Melody Wilding. Understanding different ways that we can burnout can help us avoid them. We can also be proactive by understanding how they are overcome. I can't help but see self-differentiation written all over this.
Kindness Can Have Unexpectedly Positive Consequences by Amit Kumar. A non-anxious leader is not self-centered or selfish. In fact, when one's goals and values are mission-oriented, we can balance the needs of others with our own. It turns out that being kind is REALLY helpful (no surprise, really).
Podcast
Episode 210 of The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast, A Family Systems Take on Emotional Labor, is now available.