Keep moving
Photo: DaLiu
Now when the people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes, the Lord heard it, and his anger was kindled. Then the fire of the Lord burned against them and consumed some outlying parts of the camp. But the people cried out to Moses, and Moses prayed to the Lord, and the fire abated. So that place was called Taberah, because the fire of the Lord burned against them. The camp followers with them had a strong craving, and the Israelites also wept again and said, “If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we used to eat in Egypt for nothing, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic, but now our strength is dried up, and there is nothing at all but this manna to look at.”
– Number 11:1-6 (NRSV)
It always looks like failure in the middle. Rosabeth Moss Kanter apparently coined this phrase, which is known as Kanter’s Law.
I first heard someone use this to describe raising children. Having raised four children, I get this completely. There’s a period of time where you wonder how they’re ever going to become responsible, productive adults.
Kanter’s Law is definitely true when you are trying to lead change.
There are two elements that are essential to understand. When trying to do anything new, motivation and enthusiasm are strongest at the beginning and near the end. The middle is the hardest.
The second is that people get uncomfortable with change. This leads to sabotage, which is the unwitting ways that people undermine change.
During the wilderness journey, the Israelites engage in sabotage. God’s people are not happy with the way things are going in the desert and they let Moses know it. They don’t care that God delivered them from slavery. They’re ungrateful that God provides manna everyday to keep them fed. All they can do is think about how much better the old life was, even though it wasn’t.
Sidebar: How many church people does it take to change a light bulb? At least four. One to change the bulb and the others to stand around and murmur how much better the old bulb was.
Some translations of the Bible translate the word “complain” as murmur or grumble. I believe murmuring is worse than a direct complaint. With the latter you at least know who’s complaining. When people are murmuring there’s an undercurrent that creates tension and anxiety that is often hard to pinpoint.
When someone comes up to you and begins with, “People are saying…” you can bet there is murmuring. Don’t take the bait.
Second sidebar: Moses went to the Lord about the murmuring and God's response was quite ironic (read the rest of Numbers 11). Those who complained and tried to eat the quail that God provided were stricken with a plague. Sorry, you probably won’t be able to handle those who sabotage change with this method.
So what’s a non-anxious leader to do?
Stay focused on where you’re headed while staying connected to the most anxious, i.e. the complainers.
If God is calling you to lead in a certain direction, then have faith in where you are going. Allow the complainers to speak their piece. Thank them for sharing. Then keep going.
The way to be a non-anxious presence is to keep your resolve without being arrogant AND to give others the choice to follow or not. Here are some ways to do this.
“This is where I believe God is leading. It’s OK if you don’t agree.”
Other variants of this are, “I may be wrong about this” and “This might not work.”
The point here is that if you give in to those who sabotage you’ll never get anywhere. Edwin Friedman calls this “a failure of nerve.”
Remember, you can’t plow ahead without caring about the complainers. But you can be persist in your convictions while showing you care about the most anxious.
It always looks like failure in the middle. Non-anxious leaders are able to continue moving forward to lead lasting change.
Reflection Questions:
When have you experienced complaining or murmuring?
How did you handle it?
What can help you stay focused on where God is leading AND stay connected to the most anxious?
Recommendations
You can't lead unless you're focused and you can't stay focused if you don't have your priorities in order.
PRIORITIES: THE ONE PRIORITY OF LEADERSHIP by Dan Rockwell. My top two priorities are my relationship with God and my family. Self-care helps me do both, as well as do my most important work.
"What's Next?" by Seth Godin. Take 30 seconds and read this one. Then ponder it for several minutes. Doing your most important work doesn't happen automatically (and it doesn't happen when you listen to complainers and murmurers).
Podcast
Episode 215 of The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast, What’s Going on in The United Methodist Church? – Part 1, is now available.