It IS Better to Give Than to Receive

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When I started as a camp director 21 years ago I didn’t think I’d be a fundraiser. Now, especially in a pandemic, most of my job is about raising money. One thing I’ve learned is that asking people for money is actually doing them a favor. Why? Because it’s better to give than receive. Except when it’s not (more on that later).

Research shows that people who spend money on others report higher levels of happiness than those who spend money on themselves. The amount spent is less important than the commitment to give. There’s also evidence that by giving regularly, one can start a virtuous cycle of well-being. Generosity makes you happier, which leads to more generous behavior, which makes you happier.

It’s also important to note that giving goes beyond money. Generosity includes giving our time and effort to help others. Doing something to improve the well-being of others is generally a way to feel better, at least in the short term.

But there are clearly long-term effects to giving our time, talents and treasure to others. According to this article in Time:

“Studies have shown that older people who are generous tend to have better health, says (researcher Philippe)Tobler, and other research has indicated that spending money on others can be as effective at lowering blood pressure as medication or exercise. ‘Moreover, there is a positive association between helping others and life expectancy,’ he adds, ‘perhaps because helping others reduces stress.’”

There’s a reason Jesus says, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also (Luke [12:34]).” Giving reflects the divine nature of a self-giving God. When we give away what the world considers most valuable (time, money, effort), we experience the very heart of God. As the credit card commercial says, “Priceless!” (irony intended).

There IS a caveat that takes into account family systems theory.

Giving is only helpful when it’s done freely. When it’s not, then it’s not really generosity. When we give in to surrounding togetherness pressure it’s not generosity, it’s adaptivity, which is a lack of self-differentiation.

That being said, there may be times when there is pressure to give in, and we make the choice do so. That’s fine as long as we take responsibility for our decision and don’t blame and resent others.

Making the choice to be generous is freeing. If self-differentiation is the ability to claim our goals and values in the midst of surrounding togetherness pressure, then generosity is a value we can claim when the world tells us to be selfish. It is a way to point to a God of abundance, not a god of scarcity. In this season of giving, those are values to live by the whole year ‘round.

The Rev. Jack Shitama serves as executive director of Pecometh Camp & Retreat Ministries in Maryland.  This post is republished with permission from his blog The Non-Anxious Leader.