Self Care Contemplation
Photo: Ray Shrewsberry
But now more than ever the word about Jesus spread abroad; many crowds were gathering to hear him and to be cured of their diseases. Meanwhile, he would slip away to deserted places and pray. – Luke 5:15-16 (NRSV)
Jesus was in demand. The news of his preaching and miracle-working had gone viral. The grammar of the word translated as “slip away” indicates that he withdrew even as the crowds were gathering. He wasn’t waiting until he had fulfilled all their demands to be healed before he withdrew.
Non-anxious leaders take note.
The demands of leadership never end. The to-do list is never complete. The needs of others are never fulfilled.
Jesus shows us that recharging spiritually and physically is common sense. The work will still be there when you return. More importantly, the need for connection with God is an essential means of grace that sustains your efforts.
Self-care is not selfish. Put on your own mask first.
The challenge is that the more effective we get, the greater the surrounding togetherness pressure. Others will communicate implicitly or explicitly that they can’t do it without you. It may feel good to be needed but this is a trap.
Self-differentiation is the ability to claim your own goals and values in healthy ways in the midst of surrounding togetherness pressure. Non-anxious leaders understand that setting healthy boundaries to create time for self-care is not only wise, it’s essential.
This is simple but not easy.
One translation of verse 16 is that Jesus “…frequently withdrew into the wilderness.” This wasn’t a one-off. Jesus was in the habit of withdrawing to recharge.
Whether it’s spending time in prayer, exercising or engaging in a hobby, the more you do it, the easier it gets to withstand the demands of others. My own experience is that I’m also more aware of how important these times are for me, and I get more vigilant at protecting them.
When I started exercising after prayer time it added about 90 minutes to my morning routine. I didn’t exercise that long but I needed about 30-45 minutes to cool down before I could shower and get ready for work. Even though I was getting up earlier, I started arriving at work between 9:30 and 10:00 am.
At first I was worried about what my co-workers would think. I wondered if I, as the boss, was setting a poor example for our staff. But as I thought about it, I realized that I worked plenty of hours. I also knew that regular exercise gave me more energy and made me a more effective leader. I decided that modeling self-care and results over appearances was a good thing.
Our doctrine states that Jesus was fully human and fully divine. You’d think the latter would enable him to teach and heal nonstop. Yet, the fully human part modeled self-care. I’ve learned that if I want to be a non-anxious leader, I need to follow his example.
What about you?
Reflection Questions
What do you find life-giving and renewing?
How well do you make time for this?
What pressures do you feel that make this a challenge?
Recommendations
This week's recommendations continue the theme of choosing what's important over what's urgent.
5 Science-Backed Habits of Leaders With Remarkable Mental Health by Marcel Schwantes. Managers do things right. Leaders do the right things. Some of these suggestions might surprise you but I believe they're spot on.
Jobs to be done by Seth Godin. This is a bit esoteric but brings home the point that we don't make a difference in the world by responding to all the things that need to be done. Making an impact doesn't happen by accident.
Podcast
Episode 209 of The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast, How to Remain Cool Under Pressure, is now available.
That's it for this week. Thanks for reading.