Words to Live By
Photo: nevenova via depositphotos
I love to simplify things. Yes, it’s a complicated world. Things are not always simple. But keeping it simple is more than just a saying, it’s good advice. Why? Because we tend to overcomplicate things, worry about things that never happen, imagine motives that aren’t there.
A heuristic is a mental shortcut that allows you to assess a situation and decide more quickly and efficiently.
Here are three heuristics that I find helpful.
Occam’s Razor
The formal definition is “entities should not be multiplied without necessity.” What it really means (and what you’ve likely heard) is the simplest solution or explanation is likely the correct one. This is KISS in action.
Occam’s razor is attributed to 14th century Franciscan friar William of Ockham. Why it’s not spelled like his name is not clear, but I’m sure there’s a simple explanation.
This article in The Atlantic argues it doesn’t always make for good science. However, it does admit in Ockham’s own words that there’s some value to it. They quote, “It is futile to do with more what can be done with fewer.”
I find it helpful because it’s a reminder to me to not overcomplicate things. I may not always be right, but it helps me to think more clearly.
Hanlon’s Razor
I came across this one recently.
“Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.” Another variation replaces stupidity with incompetence.
The basic idea is that the world is not out to get you.
When bad things happen, it’s seldom out of evil or hurtful intent. It’s more likely out of ignorance, stupidity or incompetence. Fittingly, it’s attributed to Robert Hanlon of Scranton, PA, who submitted it to a compilation of jokes about Murphy’s Law.
My wife says I see the world through rose-colored glasses, which may be true. But Hanlon’s razor makes me less fearful and paranoid.
The Non-Anxious Razor
I made up the name. It’s a variation on Hanlon’s Razor. I’m not going to take credit for it, but I will share it.
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by anxiety.
You know where I’m going here.
More often than not, when people attack you, it’s not about you. If it was, they would share their displeasure or disagreement in a non-anxious, self-differentiated way. When they attack you, it’s a clear sign that their own anxiety is getting the best of them. So you don’t need to take it personally.
Likewise, when you get defensive, hostile or give in without standing up for yourself, it’s likely that your own anxiety is getting the best of you.
In either case, self-regulation is the key. But self-regulation in the midst of anxiety, whether another’s or your own, is difficult.
That’s because of something called the amygdala hijack.
The amygdala is a part of your limbic or mammalian brain. Other mammals also have this part of the brain. It is the part of the brain that regulates our emotions. In evolutionary terms, it developed after the reptilian brain, or acting brain, which is the most primitive part of our brains.
Your Limbic or second brain, your feeling brain, is where memories and emotions are housed. All of the patterns that have developed over the years, even generations, are stored as scripts. When you encounter an anxiety-producing situation, your emotions kick-in.
Further, the limbic and reptilian (or lizard) brain, work together to form the “fight or flight” response. Here’s the important part: the feeling brain processes input milliseconds earlier than your neo-cortex or thinking brain.
This is the hijack. It gets your emotions going before you have the time to think rationally. It’s called the amygdala hijack because it causes you to react automatically, without thinking, which is usually the least helpful way to react.
When the amygdala, part of your feeling brain, finds a match with a previous situation that produced a fight, fight or freeze reaction, it acts before your neocortex, your thinking brain, can do anything. It triggers your lizard or first brain, to act automatically, without thinking. This is how we survived the saber-tooth tiger, but it’s not so helpful with your mother-in-law.
How do you stop the amygdala hijack?
The best thing you can do is pause and take a deep breath. This is the first step in self-regulation. Doing this will allow your thinking brain to catch up to the more primitive parts of your brain so you can think rationally about the situation. It will also help you to formulate a non-anxious response, rather than just reacting.
Keep it simple. Don’t read evil intentions into others’ actions. Don’t overreact.
Words to live by.