Building Bridges to Young Men for United Methodist Men

by

Special to United Methodist Insight

As part of the Men's Ministry Specialist process for the United Methodist Men (UMM), I was asked to have a conversation with my District Superintendent, Dr. Bernice Kirkland. In this conversation, Dr. Kirkland asked me to visit 13 churches to build bridges and close gaps with younger men. I have received requests to visit churches in other districts as well. I use the same approach everywhere I go, that message is – older men have valuable life lessons to share with younger men if they choose to become spiritual mentors. Since the 2018 North Georgia Annual Conference, I have focused on building bridges exclusively. I have begun focusing on closing gaps after this year's annual conference ended. 

Building bridges is a relational process. Earning the trust of the UMM in local churches is key to building the YoungER Men's Ministry. I have conducted four YoungER Men's Ministry Training Session since October 2018 and will conduct more trainings next year.

Here are some of the things that I have learned over the last year traveling to meet with UMM:

  1. Older men (men over 50 years old) are the majority of the members of the UMM in every church that I have visited, including my church – Impact Church. Older men have a "missionary mindset" for international missions, where they build wells and schools; serving the "least of these" in various ways; and in disaster relief response. However, older men do not have a "missionary mindset" for younger men. In other words, there is a "come and join us" mentality in dealing with younger men, not a "go and make disciples" mentality.[1] The generational divide, doing projects, conducting programs, not developing mentoring relationships, and lack of succession planning are all part of the things that the UMM have been addressing. We have conducted several "Understanding Men's Ministry” training sessions, which is based on the "No Man Left Behind" model.[2]   
  2. Older men love to talk politics a lot! I am convinced that is a bad way to attract younger men to your ministry. Younger men are more concerned about their spiritual lives (who they are and what do they believe) than they are about politics.[3]
  3. Several of the Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) churches that I visited made it a point to talk about LGBT inclusion to me, while no one outside of RMN churches even brought up the topic. This is also true of black churches concerning racial conversations. Coincidentally, there were very few younger men in the RMN and black churches men's ministries, which leads me to believe that pointing out the "sins of the other" in that name of social justice is not an effective ministry plan in reaching younger men.[4]
  4. Younger Men are concerned with being good husbands to their wives and good fathers to their children. There are also concerned about being better Christians, as well as succeeding in their careers. Older men have an opportunity to walk with younger men to show them how to navigate the trials of life. By choosing to become spiritual mentors, like the men of Northside Church in Atlanta did, bridges can be being built between generations.[5]
  5. Young men would love to be a part of the UMM; however, the meeting dates and times are not convenient with their schedules. As a result, several churches have decided to have multiple men’s small groups that meet on different days of the week or at different times of the month.
  6. Younger men are tired of tradition and their friends don't understand it, which makes it hard for churches to attract more younger men. Churches that have embraced the “modern worship” style have seen an increase in the retention rate of the young men in their congregations.
  7. Racial conversations need to be addressed by "calling people in," not "calling people out." Much of the racial conversation in men’s ministry is rooted in an “I Have A Complaint Speech,” not an “I Have A Dream Speech.” There are former members of the Ku Klux Klan who are now fighting for civil rights. This was achieved by Christians who were committed to showing unconditional love to men who hated them.
  8. Sermons that critique masculinity as misogynistic and homophobic are not rooted in grace, love and redemption. And these sermons are not being received by young men. Post-colonial theologies and the historical-critical method’s use of shaming men has largely been unsuccessful in changing their hearts. A spiritual conversation with UMM is desperately needed to address the “sins of men” with grace and truth.
  9. The UMM have answers to all of the above, yet older men and social activists are set in their ways and are not willing to implement the research-based Best Practices in reaching younger men.

In conclusion, young men can be found at the sports bar on Saturday night watching the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) fight, or throughout the week at the local coffee shop, or at the non-denominational church on Sunday mornings that was planted by a millennial man. Men’s ministries in local churches must adapt their strategy in order to attract and retain young men in their churches.

[1] Art Hobba, “Getting Into The Shoes Of Millennial Men – Part 2”, n.p. [cited 4 Dec 2019]. 

[2] Brett Clemmer, “No Young Man Left Behind: Reaching Millennials”, n.p. [cited 4 Dec 2019]. 

[3] Kris Dolberry, “5 Questions Your Church Must Answer To Reach Young Men”, n.p. [cited 4 Dec 2019]. 

[4] Tanisia Morris, “In Campus Ministry, Reaching Disaffiliated Young Men”, n.p. [cited 4 Dec 2019]. 

[5] “Mentoring Younger Men.” In A Look in the Mirror. Man in the Mirror  [cited 4 Dec 2019]. 

Odell Horne is a Men’s Ministry Specialist for the United Methodist Men and is a Lay Servant at Impact Church (UMC) near Atlanta. You can follow the YoungER Men’s Ministry on Twitter and YouTube.