Trinity
Photo: natbasil
Then God said, “Let us make humans in our image, according to our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over the cattle and over all the wild animals of the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.” So God created humans in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
Genesis 1:26-27 (NRSV)
It wasn’t until I was in seminary that I realized that God used the royal “we” when declaring that humans should be created. When God says, “Let us make humans in our image,” one wonders who is the “us?”
The royal “we” is associated with monarchs who used the plural pronoun “we” instead of the singular pronoun “I.” In seminary, I was encouraged to think of God as the monarch surrounded by a royal court.
What’s interesting is that from a family systems perspective, when someone uses the royal “we,” they are likely avoiding self-differentiating and are consciously or unconsciously creating surrounding togetherness pressure. How often has someone said to you, “We need to ‘fill in the blank’” when what they really meant was “You need to ______.”
Of course, if I’m in God’s royal court and God says we should do something. I don’t think I’m going to argue. And I have to believe God is 100% self-differentiated.
But I like to think there’s another explanation. The Trinity.
Christian tradition holds that God is three persons in one. If that doesn’t cook your noodle then nothing will.
What put things together for me is the concept of perichoresis, which is the theological term to describe the relationship between the three persons of the Trinity. Let’s break it down (deep dive warning).
Perichoresis comes from two Greek words. The first is peri, which means around, like in the word perimeter. The second is the word chorein, which means to “to make room or give way.” The literal translation of perichoresis is “rotation” or “going around.” Some scholars associate the term choreography and describe perichoresis as “dancing around.”
The importance of perichoresis is that allows each of the three persons of the Trinity to remain an individual, while affirming that they share in the lives of the others. Theologically this is often described as a “community of being.”
That was the “Aha!” moment for me. God is a relationship system. God is community.
What I love about the concept of perichoresis is that the three persons of the Trinity are not only in relationship with each other, they literally “make room” for or “give way” to each other. They are in connection but allow for healthy space between them.
The divine model for me is a family of origin, congregation or organization where people are connected but allow healthy emotional space for each to function as a self. This is what interdependence means. At our best, we see the oneness of the system, are concerned for its mission and common good, AND are able to self-define while remaining emotionally connected.
Of course, as humans we are constantly falling short. We rely too much on surrounding togetherness pressure to enforce our own understanding of the common good. We’re either too distant from or too close to those who are most important to us. Instead of self-differentiating we react or adapt to anxious situations.
For me, the good news is that the grace of God enables us to live in connection and community in the way God intends. When we pause, self-regulate and allow God’s grace to lead us, we are able to function in life-giving ways. This is what non-anxious leaders do.
Reflection Questions
What does the idea that God is community, a relationship system, mean to you?
How does that impact how you view your family of origin, congregation and/or organization?
How will this help you to lead differently?
Recommendations
This week's recommendations highlight what healthy relationship systems look like.
How Can You Be Sure Someone Has Outstanding Leadership Skills? It Comes Down to 4 Words by Marcel Schwantes. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. This article shows why emotional connection is so important. Leadership isn't authority, it's inspiration and influence.
And when we disagree… by Seth Godin. Healthy relationship systems know how to handle disagreement. Non-anxious leaders are able to say what they believe while giving others the freedom to disagree.
Podcast
Episode 201 of The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast, Four Leadership Tips from Edwin Friedman (plus Where to Find Family Systems Training), is now available.