Spider-Man and Elmo
Spider-man actor Andrew Garfield and Muppet Elmo talk about grief in a "Sesame Street" video. (UM Insight Screenshot from YouTube)
This month I was stricken by the profound theology of the great theologians, Elmo and Spider-Man. In all seriousness though, Sesame Street has always addressed grief in a healthier manner than most churches.
In a recent Sesame Street video, Elmo asks Spider-Man actor Andrew Garfield how he’s doing. Andrew confesses that he’s sad because he misses his mom, who died recently. When Elmo says he’s sorry, Andrew responds that missing his mom reminds him of how much he loved her. It’s like Winnie the Pooh said, “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” Grief is not something to be “sorry” about or to regret having. Instead, it’s an expression of love for those who have passed away.
Watch the chat between Elmo and Spider-Man here.
In churches, we sometimes gloss over hurt. We find ourselves grateful that our loved ones aren’t in pain anymore but sometimes feel selfish for how much we miss them. We forget sometimes that we are worthy of feeling all the emotions we feel. Elmo and Andrew Garfield set a profound example of how to process grief—we must feel it deeply, giving ourselves permission to feel what we think we shouldn’t.
While we find great hope in the resurrection, we can’t pretend that Good Friday never happened. After all, without Good Friday, without the heartbreak of loss, our resurrection hope loses its meaning. Only through the process of feeling our grief can we transform it into beautiful memories.
This All Saints Day, we celebrated the saints who have passed on before us. We prayed for our departed friends and for all who loved them. I invite you this week to resist the temptation to ignore your grief. Like Andrew Garfield says to Elmo, it's okay to be sad. And it’s also okay to be angry or scared or lost. Whatever you feel as you grieve, sit with those feelings and know that in some weird way they are a blessing to you. In honoring all of our feelings of grief, we honor both ourselves and our loved ones. We acknowledge that their presence in our lives mattered deeply to us, and we honor ourselves as individuals loved by God who deserve to have feelings. As you let yourself feel your feelings deeply and as you remember your loved ones, pray over your grief. When you’re ready, ask God to give you and your departed loved ones peace. You might choose to use the prayer below or choose another prayer. May God continue to give you comfort and peace in this season of joyous grieving.
Loving God, Thank you for your presence in our lives and for touching our lives through the faithful witness of our loved ones. As we honor their absence from this world, help us also remember their presence with you. Give us the strength to feel our grief deeply as a sign of our love for them. And give us the peace to transform our hurt into hope that we will one day be reunited. In your name we pray, Amen.
The Rev. Alex Johnson is a pastor in the Iowa Annual Conference. This post is republished from "Abiding in Hope," a spiritual support project of the Iowa Annual Conference. Subscribe to Abiding in Hope