I Was Wrong About… Love

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As a pastor and in the act of preaching, I always thought that it was my job to call people to do something. To take some action to make a difference in the world. And I figured that action was about organizing ourselves to fight against the injustices that are present in the world. But I’ve recently realized that I was wrong. I was wrong about love, and I was wrong about the power of love.

I thought love had no power. Or at least, no real power to change things. I judged that preaching about love, kindness, civility, and prayer was lacking in power.

Yes, I know Jesus said, “Love one another as I have loved you,” and, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength, mind, and soul,” and, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But somehow, I always translated that love into fighting or into some sort of action against something. I didn’t understand the true power of love to affect change.

Recently, though, I’ve seen it in my life, and especially in my family life. I’ve noticed that when I fought things, what came back was more fight energy. When I fought things, there was resistance, because the only thing that could be available to the other person was defensiveness. Now that I’ve begun to employ the power of love in my family, rather than fighting, or pointing out where I think people are wrong, I’ve been amazed at what’s come back to me.

You know what’s come back? More compassion. More love. More openness. More understanding.

I think about the place that we’re at in the world right now. I think about the gun violence, the assault on democracy, how lies pass as truth. And, I’m not saying just lie down and take it. But I am saying that when we take on injustice, our actions must come from a place of love, rather than hate. Compassion rather than disdain, aligning with “God’s highest energies.”

There’s something about the energies of revenge, hate, and disdain, that call forth more of that in the world. I don’t know how it works exactly, but I trust it, and I know it to be true because I’ve experienced it. I’ve seen how fight leads to fight. But love, somehow, leads to breakthroughs. Not always predictable ones, mind you, but breakthroughs, nonetheless.

Instead of putting others down, tap into the powers of love and compassion by loving God, by loving ourselves, and finally by being able to love our neighbors. Find the scriptures that call us to that highest love and see what happens when people come from love. Then emulate that for yourself.

I admit that I was wrong about the power of love. It turns out it is the most powerful force in the universe, which is why the scriptures reveal to us that God is love.

The Heartmath Institute is one of my favorite organizations. It connects science and spirituality and has demonstrated through scientific studies that when the heart is engaged in feelings of compassion, kindness, appreciation, or love, that it actually has the power to change the hearts of people around it to be on that same electromagnetic frequency. In the same way, if you’re in the space of distress, disdain, anger, revenge, resentment, or hate, you also have the power to turn hearts in that direction. In other words, we have the power to influence those around us. Even furthermore, we can be intentional about creating change around us.

Love is a higher power than hate. Pastors, church leaders, people of faith: take heart that when you tap into the powers of love, you add more love to the world.

This November, I’m offering a 3-session workshop – Platinum Rule Leadership for Changing Times – where you will discover how tapping into the power of love can make a significant difference in your life, your congregation, and your relationships. Built upon the strengths of the Golden Rule, the Platinum Rule expands your emotional intelligence to help you become a better leader. I hope you’ll join me!

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