Trust Takes Time

by

I have a regular route for my morning run. It goes by a large tree that is home to an osprey pair. Osprey generally mate for life and return to the same nest each year. The female incubates the eggs while the male defends the nest. For the last five years, as I’ve approached on my run, the male would start screeching, then would fly away, as if to distract my attention from the nest.

This year has been different. The male ignores me. I estimate that he’s seen me run by 500 times or more. I’m not able to ask him, but I think he would tell me that he trusts me. He doesn’t consider me a threat because my behavior has shown him otherwise.

This is how trust develops.

It takes time and it takes action. As a leader, this is one of your most important tasks.

I’ll summarize my blog post, Four Ways to Build Trust:

  • Extend trust (be vulnerable)
  • Find common ground through origin stories
  • Be trustworthy
  • Put the mission first

My point today is that these things take time. As with the osprey, those you lead won’t automatically trust you just because you’re the leader. They may have to listen to you, but they don’t have to trust you. It takes consistent action over time.

In his book, First Things First, Stephen Covey shares the concept of the law of the farm. This is the idea that important things are often not urgent, and they take time. Unlike a student who doesn’t study all semester, then crams for the final, a farmer can’t cram the production of a crop the night before a harvest.

Covey points out that many things that are important but not urgent follow this law. These include cultivating relationships, improving your health, developing proficiency/expertise and building trust. If you want to see results, put in the time.

More than ever, effective leadership in the COVID-19 crisis requires trust. A non-anxious leader doesn’t try to rush it. She realizes that she’s either got the trust of the people she leads, or she needs to continue to cultivate it. Either way, she understands that it’s up to her, and it takes time.

The Rev. Jack Shitama serves as executive director of Pecometh Camp & Retreat Ministries in Maryland.  This post is republished with permission from his blog, The Non-Anxious Leader.