Helen Ryde Tribute
Image Courtesy of Reconciling MInistries Network
UPDATED Sept. 4 with funeral arrangements at end.
Helen Ryde, a dynamic and well-loved advocate for LGBTQ+ inclusion in The United Methodist Church, died Sept. 2 unexpectedly in their home in Lake Junaluska, N.C.
Ryde’s death was announced in an email from Jan Lawrence, executive director of Reconciling Ministries Network, where Ryde was director of mission impact.
“For 13 years, Helen worked tirelessly through RMN for LGBTQ+ justice and inclusion in The United Methodist Church and beyond,” Lawrence wrote. “For most of those years, they were an Organizer, with a deep faith in God’s transformative power and the skills needed to partner with God in this way.”
“I mourn because Helen had so much left to do – not just through their role at RMN but in the love they had yet to receive and give, their compassion and thoughtfulness, their authenticity and courage,” Lawrence continued. “Helen had the rare ability to accept all kinds of people in their multitudes.”
According to the RMN website, Ryde was born and brought up in the United Kingdom and moved to the United States in 1998. Ryde used “they/them” pronouns. They and their wife, Kate, were together for 25 years.
The RMN website said Ryde served the Reconciling movement as an organizer from 2012 – 2024, when they were named director of mission impact. Prior to RMN, they worked as a vice president in a financial services company and a special needs teacher. They had a post-graduate degree in secondary education from Canterbury Christ Church University.
Ryde was consecrated a home missioner in the Order of Deaconess & Home Missioner in 2016 and was close friends with another prominent LGBTQ+ advocacy couple, deaconess Robin Ridenour and retired Bishop Karen P. Oliveto, the first lesbian bishop elected in the UMC. In July, the two couples walked the Camino Portugués, a 180-mile portion of the renowned Christian pilgrimage, el Camino de Santiago, in July.
Tributes to Ryde poured across social media from United Methodists stunned at their sudden death.
Helen Ryde with Bishop Robin Dease. (Photo Courtesy of Bishop Dease/Facebook)
Bishop Robin Dease of North Georgia and South Georgia conferences wrote: “Helen was a pioneer in the UMC working tirelessly to break down barriers to bring people together across lines of race, background and belief. Helen challenged white progressives to get involved in eradicating racism knowing that no one is free until all are free from the yoke of racism and white supremacy.
“Helen didn’t just advocate for inclusion, they embodied it, showing us that reconciliation is not just a possibility but a divine calling,” Bishop Dease continued. “Helen believed in a future where all are welcomed, all are valued, and all are treated with love and dignity! Helen’s legacy is one of love…and love never fades!!”
The Rev. Jeremy Smith, pastor of Edmonds (Wash.) United Methodist Church, wrote: “I’ve known Helen for a decade. Hours and hours alongside in the struggle and learning from their wisdom at their feet. In prayer and mourning with all those who called Helen friend and fellow advocate.”
Beth LaRocca-Pitts of Atlanta posted on Facebook a story that exemplified Ryde’s commitment to inclusion:
“When we held the installation of Bishop Robin Dease in our (Oak Grove UMC) sanctuary, we were warned that WCA/GMC protesters planned to disrupt the service. When one gentleman stood up during communion to shout his demands, our extra security and church staff showed him out. Helen got up out of their pew and went outside to talk to him. They wanted to understand his concerns. Helen was, quite simply, the best of us.”
Ryde’s co-worker, the Rev. Dr. Israel “Izzy” Alvaran, posted: “Helen is one of the most gracious persons I know, always ready to reach out and be present even with those who did not affirm their own existence as a queer person. Helen, a fierce organizer, lived and breathed grace and compassion.”
Lawrence wrote that Ryde’s efforts to achieve LGBTQ+ inclusion were realized at the 2024 General Conference in Charlotte, N.C., when delegates voted overwhelmingly to remove all the UMC’s anti-LGBTQ+ policies and language.
“All this persistence, all this generosity, paid off at the 2024 General Conference,” Lawrence wrote. “As a delegate and co-convener of the Queer Delegate Caucus, and through over a decade of grassroots organizing, they were a key leader in the transformation of our denomination. And they knew that much more had yet to be done. They additionally served as Secretary for the General Board of Church & Society and on the Racial Audit team of the Methodist Federation for Social Action.”
“There are no closed doors in the Kingdom of God. There is nothing that should prevent people for being in a relationship with us as United Methodist Church."
– Helen Ryde, speaking in support of re-affiliation at the 2024 General Conference.
As a lay delegate from the Western North Carolina Conference, Ryde gave a moving speech in favor of a petition to create a path for re-affiliation for churches that had left the denomination over human sexuality issues. The Rev. Douglas Forrester, superintendent at Valley Ridge District in the Western North Carolina Conference, posted a transcript of Ryde’s speech on Facebook:
"My name is Helen Ryde. I'm a lay delegate from the Western North Carolina Conference. I'm a home missioner. I'm an adult, white, non-binary person, and my pronouns are they/them. I rise to speak in favor of this petition because I am not the person I am now that I was 30, 35 years ago. I lost track.
“I'm saying that to say my heart has been changed about who I am and how I exist in the world. But if you had told me that many years ago that my heart was going to change, I would have said, 'No. (laughs) Nope, it ain't gonna change 'cause I'm quite sure what the Bible tells me about who I am.'
But I, I listened to God, and I listened to people who told me that the image of God was in me just as much as it is in people who are heterosexual and cisgender. And so I believe we need to leave the door open.
“You know, this move to bring our church to a new place has never, ever been about asking anybody to leave. Many of those who have left have believed gross mischaracterizations about people like me, and I believe many of them are realizing that maybe they shouldn't have believed them. And so in my heart, I hope and pray that we can have the grace to allow a way back.
“There are no closed doors in the Kingdom of God. There is nothing that should prevent people for being in a relationship with us as United Methodist Church."
A memorial service for Helen Ryde will be held at First UMC in Waynesville, North Carolina, on Tuesday, September 9, 2025, at 2:00 PM EDT. The service will also be livestreamed for those unable to attend in person. A reception will follow the service.