'Ain't You Tired?'

Reflections on Angry, Fearful, Negative Religion

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[Author's note: This month’s post was inspired by Mark Wingfield’s (Executive Director and Publisher at Baptist News Global Friday Roundup article, “American Addiction,” on July 5, 2024.]

Inspired by Mark Wingfield’s description of a poignant movie scene (see note above), I recently watched the 2011 award-winning film, The Help. The movie highlighted a top-tier cast including Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Cisely Tyson, Sissy Spacek, Mary Steenburg, Jessica Chastain, and Allison Janney. It received numerous Academy Award nominations including Best Picture, Best Actress, and Best Supporting Actress.

The movie tells the story of an aspiring young female author from Jackson, Mississippi, during the civil rights movement of the 1960s. After witnessing the injustices they suffered, she decided to write a book about African American maids (from their perspective), pointing out the humiliations and hardships they faced as black female domestic workers in the South.

Hilly and Aibileen

One of the primary characters in The Help  was a woman named Hilly, who served as the president of the leading women’s socialite group in Jackson. Although she explicitly claimed to be a Christian in the film, her behavior suggested otherwise. Hilly consistently exhibited anger, fear, entitlement, cruelty, bullying, lying, spite, manipulation, and racism. In short, in spite of her professed Christian faith, Hilly did not embody any of the kind, compassionate, loving, or ethical spirit we find in the life of Jesus.

For example, Hilly insisted that her black maids use a separate outdoor bathroom because “they carry different diseases than we do” and we must “protect the children.” She advocated for a city ordinance mandating separate restrooms for all black maids working in white households. She called it “The Home Health Sanitation Initiative.” Hilly even got her proposal endorsed by the White Citizens Council and the governor. When one of her maids used the inside bathroom during a dangerous and deadly tornado storm (going outside to the black bathroom would have put her in harm’s way), Hilly fired the maid on the spot.

Rather than tell people the real reason she fired her maid, Hilly falsely told everyone that her maid had stolen a candelabra from her, which prevented the woman from finding a new job. As a result, the maid’s husband beat her for losing her job, and her fourteen-year-old daughter had to quit school to make money for the family.

Soon after that, Hilly’s new maid asked her for a $75 advance on her wages so she could pay the final remaining tuition expenses for her son to attend college. Hilly, who could have easily granted the modest request but lacked any Christian compassion, refused to help. She said, “God doesn’t give charity to those who are well and able. You need to come up with the money on your own.” She then told her maid, “As a Christian, I’m doing you a favor. You’ll thank me one day.”

Another major character in The Help  was a black maid named Aibileen. Like many other black residents in Jackson, Mississippi, in the 1960s, Aibileen had experienced more than her share of mistreatment and injustice. That injustice included the tragic death of her 24-year-old son in a workplace accident due to the callous neglect of a racist employer. It also included receiving pitiful wages from wealthy white people like Hilly and her friends.

Near the end of the film, Hilly, outraged by embarrassing revelations in the newly published book about the black maids of Jackson, managed to get Aibileen fired from her job by falsely accusing her of stealing the family’s silver. This act of cruelty was the last straw for Aibileen. She finally decided she’d had enough of Hilly’s abuse. In a risky act of courage and fortitude, the usually restrained Aibileen forcefully confronted Hilly’s unchristian behavior (see top photo). She looked directly at her tormentor and said, “All you do is scare and lie to try and get what you want. You a godless woman. Ain’t you tired, Miss Hilly? Ain’t you tired?”

Angry, Fearful, Negative Christianity

Hilly’s character reminds me of American Christians who constantly express anger, fear, meanness, entitlement, judgment, and relentless negativity. They lash out at liberals, immigrants, elites, “wokeness,” LGBTQ people, educators, critical race theory, diversity, scientists, vaccinations, the deep state, Democrats, socialists, and the list goes on and on. Their rage never stops. I often think, It must be exhausting to be that angry and fearful all the time.

Like Hilly, these people claim to follow Jesus, but their behavior doesn’t reflect that reality. For example, they consistently ignore Jesus’s example and teachings about humility, love, kindness, compassion, empathy, inclusion, forgiveness, truth telling, grace, mercy, and justice. If you didn’t know they were religious, you would be surprised to find out.

Part of me is overwhelmingly fed up with this brand of Christianity. For example, this religious camp constantly asks, “What would Jesus do?” but then does the exact opposite. They have effectively jettisoned Jesus from their faith. As a result, they are turning aways millions of people from Christ and the church, especially young people. People look at this mean-spirited religion and think, If this is Christianity, I want nothing to do with it. Not only has this group trashed their own brand beyond repair, but they have also hurt the witness of all Christians. So yes, I’m more than frustrated by this kind of religion.

Aibileen’s Question

On the other hand, I’m genuinely worried about these folks. Why are they so angry all the time? Why are they so fearful of people who think differently from them? Why does everyone who disagrees with their narrow views have to be their mortal enemy? Doesn’t all that anger, fear, and negativity exhaust them? Doesn’t feeling threatened all the time make them sick? Doesn’t their endless hostility shrink their souls? When I think about these people, I can almost hear Aibileen ask them, “Ain’t you tired?”

  • Ain’t you tired of being perpetually angry?
  • Ain’t you tired of your relentless negativism?
  • Ain’t you tired of being afraid all the time?
  • Ain’t you tired of attacking the LGBTQ community?
  • Ain’t you tired of traumatizing and endangering transgendered teenagers?
  • Ain’t you tired of demonizing immigrants?
  • Ain’t you tired of subordinating women?
  • Ain’t you tired of condemning Muslims?
  • Ain’t you tired of being anti-woke?
  • Ain’t you tired of rejecting science?
  • Ain’t you tired of banning books?
  • Ain’t you tired of rejecting efforts to protect God’s creation?
  • Ain’t you tired of promoting falsehoods including the Big Lie of 2020?
  • Ain’t you tired of denying the obvious reality of systemic racism?
  • Ain’t you tired of practicing self-righteous judgmentalism?
  • Ain’t you tired of turning people away from Jesus and the church?
  • Ain’t you tired of selling your soul for political power?
  • Ain’t you tired of promoting conspiracy theories?
  • Ain’t you tired of trying to impose your will on other people?
  • Ain’t you tired of ignoring the example and teachings of Jesus?
  • Ain’t you tired of fighting hostile battles at local school boards?
  • Ain’t you tired of adoring a corrupt man who violates every value you claim to hold?
  • Ain’t you tired of being used by politicians who don’t care a flip about your religion?
  • Ain’t you tired of trashing “elites”?
  • Ain’t You Tired???

It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way

It doesn’t have to be this way. Jesus once said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28–30, NIV).

As Mark Wingfield wrote in his article (mentioned above), “Following Jesus ought to lead to joy, not anger. Following Jesus ought to cause us to welcome others, not shut them out. Following Jesus ought to lead us to work for freedom and fairness and truth and to set aside earthly power just as Jesus did. Anything else is exhausting to keep up. It will make you truly tired.”

No doubt, some readers will push back on this article, accusing me of being overly harsh on the religious right. And perhaps I am. But mainline Christians can no longer ignore this toxic expression of faith. The stakes are too high. This brand of Christianity is doing massive damage in the world and must be challenged. Just as Jesus warned of unhealthy religion in his day (see Matthew 23), so must we in ours.

Perhaps Aibileen in The Help can be instructive on this matter. Throughout the movie it’s clear that Aibileen is a dedicated follower of Jesus. She constantly attempts to live out her faith, even when it’s challenging. Near the end of the film she says (in voice-over narration), “God says we need to love our enemies. It’s hard to do. But it can start by telling the truth.”

I believe it’s imperative to tell the truth about the danger of toxic religion—for the sake of those who propagate it, for the sake of Christianity, and for the sake of the world. And while it may not seem like it to some, telling this hard truth is actually an act of (tough) love by people who care deeply about honoring the example, spirit, and teachings of Jesus.

Aibileen is correct. Mean-spirited Christianity is exhausting, both for those who practice it and for those who witness it. So if you are living out Hilly’s brand of Christianity, consider giving yourself a rest. It would help the cause of Christ and church. It would benefit you—mind, body, and soul. And it would benefit the rest of us who are utterly exhausted by this kind of angry, fearful, and negative religion.

Ain’t you tired?

Read more of Martin Thielen's writing on his website, Doubter's Parish.