Special to United Methodist Insight | April 23, 2025
Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31-32, NRSVUE*)
Recently, Netflix released the docuseries, “The Clubhouse: A Year with the Boston Red Sox.” In one of the episodes, Jarren Duran, a Red Sox outfielder and MVP of the 2024 All-Star Game, courageously shared his struggles with depression and an attempted suicide after the 2021-22 baseball season. In being so honest, he hoped to help others facing similar circumstances, and to remind people that they are not alone, and that it is not just OK but essential to ask for help.
Survivor
Jarren Duran during a game against the Miami Marlins at Loan Depot Park in Miami, FL. Duran described his struggles with depression and potential suicide on the new Netflex documentary, "The Clubhouse: A Year with the Boston Red Sox." (Wikimedia Photo by Rick Munroe/Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license)
Why would a rising major league baseball player, who seemed to be living out the dream of so many, find himself such a place? Jarren Duran’s depression was fed by the cruel comments from fans and critics, and they joined in a chorus with the inner voices that echoed a sense of worthlessness and failure. The harshness and personalization of people’s hyper criticism took a toll. He says at one point in the documentary, “I was already hearing it from fans and what they say to me, it’s like I haven’t already told myself 10 times worse than that in the mirror.”
Cruelty and harshness seem now to be more a norm than an aberration. The prominence of social media and 24-hour news cycles give expanded venues for hyper critique. We elect politicians that are far more skilled at practicing meanness and division than respect, cooperation, and civility. We forward memes that cut to the quick in the most painful ways. We treat athletes as if their success or failure is the dictator of our happiness and meaning in life. Then, we justify it all by claiming our “correctness” or a sense of “pride,” and demonizing those who challenge such ideas or expectations.
Still, we carelessly espouse biting commentary with little thought for the impact on those we criticize, or even the wider society. Jarren Duran’s story is but one example of this. What we see as funny or just getting caught up in the spirit of things can feed inner voices in people that lead them to the brink of tragedy, and in too many cases, to cross over that line.
It doesn’t have to be this way. The cruelty of our discourse is a choice we make. As followers of Jesus, we also have a choice to renounce such forms of criticism and to disdain such behavior in ourselves and others. We can critique with kindness, gentleness, and respect. Too often, though, we simply go along with the pattern because we feel justified or because we like the person expressing the cruelty.
In the Ephesians passage above, we find a clear reminder that the follower of Jesus is to engage the world in a very different way. Disciples are called to model the love and forgiveness of God to one another and the world. The disciple calls the world to a way of being that better reflects the heart of God. This is counter-cultural, but also healing, in a world of cruel incivility.
At the end of the documentary, Jarren Duran shares how he writes, “Still Alive!” on his right wrist band before every game, as a reminder that he has survived the cruelty of the world and that his life has value and meaning beyond it. He is more than what the biting critics say of him!
As followers of Jesus, this should be our message to the world: you are loved, you have value, and you are defined by more than success and failure. Are we disciples “still alive,” or are we just content to go along with the jeering crowd and elevate the voices of emotional violence and cruelty? Perhaps drawn by the Holy Spirit, the call of discipleship in these days is to come alive and model for the world a better way of being that builds up rather than tears down.
So, thank you, Jarren Duran, for the tremendous courage and vulnerability in sharing your story. You are reminding us that careless words have consequences. Your inner strength is an inspiration to live into our better selves and to practice a more compassionate way of being, a way more in keeping with the heart of Jesus.
Dr. Brett M. Opalinski
Courtesy Photo
Dr. Brett M. Opalinski serves as Assistant Dean of Methodist Studies and Assistant Professor in the Practice of Spiritual Formation and Church Leadership at United Methodist-related Candler School of Theology, Emory University in Atlanta.