Two Wolves
A new interpretation of a Native American myth about two wolves finds a "both-and" explanation that embraces balance. (Photo by Fabrício Severo on Unsplash)
Special to United Methodist Insight | April 28, 2025
I’m sure you know this cliché: “The first casualty of war is Truth.” But here’s a twist on this cliché that also makes sense: “The first casualty of certainty is Truth.”
My initial Google search for this statement suggests to me that I may have invented it myself. It may even be true. So please hear me out.
An early 15th century definition of certainly is the “full assurance of mind, exemption from doubt.” I’ve met numerous people whose sense of certainty embraces that exemption from doubt. I’m rarely comfortable in their presence, in no small measure because they often want to make their experience of “Certainty” my obligation. And I’m certain I don’t want to be forced to be certain!
So I’m prone to ask: what’s the origin of this intractable sense of certainty? I suspect our desires for certainty are directed by what we fear and/or what we love. Let’s consider Fear and Love as contributing to our deep desires for Certainty.
I offer these contrasting statements as over-stated examples. But let them prompt your own examples.
Fear-Certainty keeps doubts from being expressed. Love-Certainty encourages doubts to be expressed. Fear-Certainty depends on “either-or” choices. Love-Certainty depends on “both-and” choices.
Fear-Certainty rejects questions of accountability/transparency. Love-Certainty welcomes questions of accountability/transparency.
Fear-Certainty depends on intimidation of others. Love-Certainty depends on persuasion of others. Fear-Certainty lies to manipulate others. Love-Certainty seeks the truth that affirms others.
Fear-Certainty requires an enemy. Love-Certainty invites enemies to become friends. Fear-Certainty believes in the love of power. Love-Certainty believes in the power of love.
Now, I know that these descriptions are not as clean as the words suggest. I’d like them to be, however. I’d like them to be more either-or, like the wonderful Native American story about the 2 wolves.
A grandson confesses to his grandfather about the internal struggle going on inside of him. So the grandfather speaks of two wolves, one dark and evil, the other one light and good.
The grandson then asks, “Which wolf will win?” Grandfather simply says, “The one you feed.” I’ve liked this story for many either-or reasons.
Then I recently read an interpretation shared by Michelle Weimer, a personal coach. It reminded me to think more in both-and terms.
She found another version of the two wolves story that spoke of the good qualities each wolf possesses that we all need. The grandfather said to his grandson, “If you feed them right, they both win…”
He described the good qualities of the dark wolf – tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strong-willed and great strategic thinking. Then he spoke of the light wolf’s qualities - compassion, caring, strength and the ability to recognize what is in the best interest of all.
The new version Grandfather’s summary? “Feed them both and you will be closer to living in peace, grandson.”
A common synonym of peace is “wholeness.” This is language that speaks to me. I can see this grandfather’s two-wolves’ view in a fuller way.
They need each other, like healthy “liberals and conservatives” need each other when it comes to religion and politics. Our current religious-political climate generates far more fear than love. Like two wolves demanding to be fed without regard to each other.
Certainty can be like those two wolves. Fear and Love demanding to be fed without regard to each other. Yet, they each have values the other needs.
I could suggest how those values might work together. But please take on the task of figuring out for yourself how they might work together in your own life. Doing so, you feed your own certainty.
The Rev. Paul R. Graves
The Rev. Paul R. Graves is a “retired and repurposed” United Methodist clergyman who recently moved to the Portland, Ore., area to be closer to family. He previously lived more than three decades in Sandpoint, Wash., where he was mayor and active in civic groups.