Artwork Courtesy of Christy Thomas
Special to United Methodist Insight | May 5, 2026
I’ve always gone by “Christy” as my given name, but my birth certificate lists my name as “Mary Christine.” On the first day of school, I routinely had to correct teachers when they called the roll by saying, “Mary Thomas.” No one ever called me “Mary,” –that was my grandmother’s name, for goodness sake, and I don’t respond, so I would try to listen carefully through the alphabet until they came to me and I would say, “I go by Christy.”
As I get older, I find myself being called “Mary” more and more because my legal name has to be on every document and registration. Because of age and a year of complicated health issues, every medical office I enter calls me “Mary.” There’s no place for my preferred name, which is frustrating.
Our names, when used well, bring a sense of connection. When used poorly, as I am experiencing, something feels discordant or even extremely uncomfortable.
Even when they are just misspelled, it can be bothersome. “Christy,” for example, can be spelled: Christi, Christie, Kristy, Kristie, Krysti, Chrysti, and probably another half-dozen ways I’ve not yet seen. And not one of these identically pronounced names is really mine.
I find myself asking more about the power of knowing names and using them well when I’m at a point in my life when I personally have greater trouble remembering them.
When this life is over and, I most sincerely hope, I see God face-to-face, I want to hear my name pronounced as one who has been given the gift of eternal life and the joy of complete intimacy with God. I want God to look at me and say, “Christy, [note: please don’t call me “Mary” even as holy as such a name is], you are my beloved daughter. Come in, come in, my dear one.”
It may be that we all have that longing, and that our name represents our very being, the core of our soul. When it is misused, even inadvertently, something is violated. And when a name is misused intentionally, as when people are teased about their names—something that so often happens in childhood, or the name is twisted or used to demean another, the wound goes deep.
I don’t know of any easy way to use other people’s names flawlessly, or to remember them well. However, I am aware that at least making an effort to learn and use them is a way to show others that they are valued. The best way to dehumanize people is to assign them numbers in place of names. But calling others tenderly by their names reminds each of us that we are precious in the sight of God.
Christy Thomas
Courtesy Photo
The Rev. Dr. Christy Thomas is a retired clergy member of the former North Texas Conference (now Horizon Texas) of The United Methodist Church. This post is republished from her Substack blog, Quiet Resistance for a Noisy Age.