Disaffiliating from Disaffiliation

July 18, 2023

4:11 PM

No War

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

I’ve made up my mind. I do not want to be involved in the disaffiliation process any longer. I wish to disaffiliate from disaffiliation. I am becoming a contentious objector. I’m through with the whole process. I will no longer willingly participate in the de facto destruction of my local United Methodist Church or the denomination.

If disaffiliation is going to happen, it will occur without me. Physically, I am exhausted. Emotionally, I am unable to cope. Spiritually, I am empty. Disaffiliation has robbed me of my ability to function in the only work I have ever known. I refuse to participate in any further aspects of the disaffiliation process because it is robbing me of my physical and mental health. I can no longer sacrifice my call to ministry on the altar of scripturally inspired bigotry, religious fundamentalism, Christian nationalism, or living in outright fear.

My ability to believe in a loving God is being taken from me, piece by piece, step by step, in meeting after meeting, as this process continues. Somedays, I leave the church and feel like God’s presence has been beaten out of me. If I feel this way as the minister, I wonder how the average layperson, caught in these seemingly epic struggles for power, Biblical clarity, property, and propriety, feels. I know because they tell me. They are confused and lost.

This process inflicts moral harm on innocent people who only want to worship God. I have trouble looking at myself in the mirror when I realize that I am an instrument, willing or not, of inflicting that harm and undermining good people’s faith in a good God. I am frightened when I consider the PTSD we, as a church, are imposing on generations of Christians, clergy, and laity alike. There is so much pain we are asking people to accept as part of this process as “God’s will,” “that’s just newness,” or “God will put the pieces back together.” We’re going to need more than platitudes. When this is over, the whole denomination will need to go to therapy. No one is walking away from this unscathed. We will have only ourselves to blame if we do not plan for systemic healing, reconciliation, and rebuilding.

It is as if disaffiliation was explicitly designed to bring out the worst in God’s people and God’s church; given what I’ve witnessed over the past months and years, I now wonder if we were ever God’s people or God’s church. Were we simply groups of people armed with Bibles, hiding in plain sight, meeting in buildings we claimed were churches, but functioned as extensions of our own homes, waiting for a plastic Jesus who would confirm our prejudices, never challenge our opinions, and stay on the script we gave Him to read? Yes, that’s who we’ve become. That version of Christianity is a lie, and sadly, it has been repeated long enough that many now believe it to be true, so much so that when the unfiltered Jesus is given a voice, he sounds like the woke villain some of our members have been brainwashed to believe is the greatest existential threat to our nation.

My ability to believe in a loving God is being taken from me, piece by piece, step by step, in meeting after meeting, as this process continues. Somedays, I leave the church and feel like God’s presence has been beaten out of me.

Paragraph 340 of the Book of Discipline outlines the duties and responsibilities of Elders in the United Methodist Church. Among the many duties listed (in paragraph c) (1)) are these: To be the administrative officer of the local church and ensure that the organizational concerns of the congregation are adequately provided for. In the next section (340 c) (2), the BoD says the elder is: To administer the temporal affairs of the church in their appointment, the annual conference, and the general church. I can’t fulfill either of those requirements, in good conscience or actual practice, when I’m an accessory to the disaffiliation process. It is impossible for me in a congregation determined to destroy their congregational relationship with the annual conference to ensure their organizational concerns are adequately provided for or administer their affairs in relationship to an organization with which they seek to have no relationship. I cannot do what the Book of Discipline asks and be a party to disaffiliation.

I am seeking Contentious Objector status. If I had a draft card, I would burn it. I am ready to go to church jail for my beliefs. I am opposed to this war. It is wrong, immoral, un-Christian, and taking innocent lives. I might handcuff myself to the altar. Perhaps I’ll lead a worship service where no one says anything. Everything I do will be nonviolent, in the spirit of Gandhi, King, and Jesus of Nazareth. Whatever I do, my message will be clear: I will not fight and die on your battlefield. I don’t want to control a local church. Ultimately, a denomination is just a name. I’m waiting for the kingdom of God.

Comments (3)

Comment Feed

Stand down, sir

Disaffiliation is part of UMC leadership at the moment. Just a fact of life. The simple solution is to make certain the way is clear for those who want to, by reason of conscience at the direction of the leadership of the denomination, leave in good faith. If you are diametrically opposed to their views, why do you want to be yoked with them? Help facilitate the departure and your life will be good again. Your complaints about their "bigotry ", et al does a disservice to you, your congregation, and conference. If you are unable or unwilling to lead during this season of the church, you should take a sabbatical and let those who are capable do the work.

John Crabtree more than 1 year ago

Fatigue is understandable, but inaction is unconscionable

This is so interesting, that someone has so fully encapsulated my feelings, while having a 180° opposite viewpoint. I've so longed to not feel the disdain that our Conferences have had for evangelical, orthodox, or conservative churches. I, too, just want all this to be over, to be free to express Christian charity in mission, and sharing the Gospel, without being termed a scripturally-inspired bigot, religious fundamentalist, or Christian nationalist by those who have taken an oath and vow to uphold both the theology and the Discipline of the UMC. I understand the frustration and the Spirit-sapping effect of event after event and meeting after meeting of divisive and mean-spirited leadership, and of watching every GC and JC delegate, every BooM member, and every person selected for leadership who doesn't look like me, doesn't talk like me, doesn't believe like me, and doesn't believe like 60%-70% of our Conference. I get it. It's been a long and painful road. It will be better in the end, with two groups who at least are presenting an internally consistent message into the world.

What we've done in the past clearly isn't working, the US UMC has lost more than thirty percent of their membership over the years, and more than twenty percent of those who were left didn't want their name over the door. To give up on this process of creating two distinct bodies who may both become thriving, or one thrive, is to resign ourselves to this coming extinction.

Caleb more than 1 year ago

Often, Divorces Can Improve the Future

Oh, stop whining! UMC USA membership has plummeted from around 11 million to ~6.5 million mostly over this homosexual debate. Think of “disaffiliation” as a long overdue divorce; finally, after decades of frustration, both sides will have a chance for peace, quiet, and the opportunity to live life and do good. Let's all try to facilitate the future!

The oft-used mantra, ”making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world” means little within the LOSS of so many members. Why not change it to “… for the stabilization of the disciples we have and the good they will do”?

A re-written Book of Discipline will best reflect the values of people like Pastor Bryant. Furthermore, people like me, who see a future without homosexual bishops and clergy and weddings, as major steps forward in our church home beliefs, will be euphoric. We will all be happier and more likely to show-up and give.

In my case, I will most likely choose a non-affiliated former UMC; less bureaucracy and over-head expenses. Others prefer the Global concept, while many will prefer the coming new BoD of the UMC. May we all give renewed enthusiasm in His service - without the upheaval.

Reese more than 1 year ago