WB 473
Dear Humans,
I know I am just a cat. My ways are not your ways. I do not understand the things that trouble you. The biggest worry I have is the deep, daily dread that my human will forget to fill my bowl with delicious kibble. So I pester my human endlessly until the bowl is yet again filled. Jesus talked about the persistent widow. Well she ain’t got nothing on me.
But maybe that’s not so different from you and the things that bother you. It sure does seem that every election cycle y’all act as if God is going to forget to take care of you and the world is going to end. I mean, I’m not judging you. I promise I will be hollering at my human every morning starting at 5:43 am, no matter how consistently I am provided for. [HACK…HACK…GACK…(excuse me, hairball)].
Maybe that’s the way of things. You know, when things are out of your control. When you know what you need to survive, but the only thing you can do about it is make some noise. So you vote. You make sure to TELL THE FREAKING TRUTH because it’s so easy to sensationalize half-truths and lies. Oh, by the way, could you please send someone to change the litter box? I am NOT stepping one toe bean in there until it is IMMACULATE.
Well, I don’t know how your day will go, or whether this is the election that marks the end of the world. These things matter to real people, and I know that’s what troubles you. I want to encourage you…BIRD. DOES NO ONE SEE THE BIRD IN THE WINDOW? It taunts me with its twitchy freedom. Oh, bother. There it goes off to some blissful adventure.
I’m sorry, we were talking about something. Ah, yes. You should be petting me now. I’m glad we had this little talk.
Yours truly,
-Grimalkin,
Beloved Feline of Charles Wesley*
*Footnote. If you’re new to Wesley Bros Comics, Charles Wesley has a pet cat named Grimalkin. We know the historical Wesleys were cat owners, and that Charles had an affection for felines, as he wrote a hymn dedicated to his pet cat. The hymn refers to the cat as Grimalkin, which is not the actual name of the cat, but an English word meaning “Gray Cat.”