Bottom Line
Photo Courtesy of Martin Thielen
Doubter's Parish | May 6, 2025
Like many others, I enjoyed the fascinating Cold War TV drama, The Americans. The show depicted a Russian couple living as spies in America. After their daughter began attending a progressive church, the mother initiated several conversations with the pastor. In one scene, he could tell she was struggling with something, so he encouraged her to pray for guidance. She said, “What if you don’t believe in God, or religion, or prayer?” He responded, “None of those things matter. All that matters is how we treat each other.”
A lot of religious people would take issue with this fictional pastor’s unorthodox views. And plenty of them would consider it heresy. But his comments point to an important truth. At its core, authentic spirituality is not about beliefs. It’s about behavior. And that insight, more than anything else, brought resolution to my decades long spiritual struggle.
An End to Religious Angst
Martin Thielen ID
As I’ve shared before on Doubter’s Parish website, I long grappled with spiritual angst, especially around traditional beliefs and institutional religion. For years I agonized over questions like, Is God personal? Does God intervene in human affairs? Do miracles occur? Does prayer make any difference? And was Jesus really divine? I also grappled with the dark underbelly of institutional religion.
Ultimately, these theological and institutional struggles resulted in my early retirement as a minister. Although that resolved my vocational dilemma, it did not solve my religious angst, which continued unabated.
However, over the past few years, I have made a major spiritual breakthrough. Like the pastor in The Americans, I’ve finally come to realize that authentic faith has very little to do with religious doctrines and institutions. Instead, it’s all about how we live.
This insight hit me as I reread the Gospels in retirement. Freed from vocational restraints, I was able to fully see (for the first time) that Jesus cared little about traditional religious trappings. For example, when he called his first disciples, Jesus didn’t say a word about religion. He simply said, “Follow me.”
And Jesus’s “Great Commandment” (to love God and neighbor), his “Golden Rule” (to treat others the way we want them to treat us), his parables, and his core teachings (as seen in the Sermon on the Mount), had virtually nothing to do with conventional religious concerns.
Additional examples that Jesus valued behavior over belief abound. When a young man asked Jesus how he could inherit eternal life, Jesus didn’t say anything about religious beliefs or institutions. Instead, he said, “Keep the commandments, sell your possessions, give the proceeds to the poor, and come follow me.”
In his famous parable about the good Samaritan, loving behavior, not religious beliefs, is what Jesus commended. And in his parable about the last judgment, Jesus tells us that people will be judged not on doctrinal beliefs or institutional fidelity, but on how they respond to the poor, the sick, and the stranger.
Although it should have dawned on me much earlier, reading these stories about Jesus (without wearing the filter of an institutional church worker) resulted in a life-changing epiphany. I came to realize that, unlike me (and most clergy I know), religiosity didn’t interest Jesus. Ethical and loving behavior did.
After rereading the Gospels, I decided to finish the rest of the New Testament. Once again, I noticed the same theme—behavior, not belief, is the heart of biblical faith.
For example, James said, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” (James 1). And the apostle Paul said, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Galatians 5).
After finishing the New Testament, I decided to reread the Old Testament. Once again, I noticed the biblical preference for behavior over beliefs. For example, the Ten Commandments (Exod. 20) say absolutely nothing about religious doctrines. Instead, they call for ethical living including not stealing, not lying, being faithful to our spouse, and honoring our parents.
And the Old Testament prophets did not demand pure beliefs but pure living. As Micah said, “What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6). In short, I discovered that Jesus and Scripture clearly teach that God cares far more about ethical behavior than religious beliefs or institutional loyalties.
Simplicity on the Other Side of Complexity
These days I no longer fret about organized religion or doctrinal beliefs. I still find these subjects interesting. And I enjoy writing about them in Doubter’s Parish and other venues. But I’m no longer consumed with them. The religious angst I carried for decades has finally disappeared. It’s almost like a light switch has been turned off. I’ve come to realize that while conventional religion can be helpful and has its place, it’s not the main thing. Instead, loving behavior—not religious beliefs or institutions—is the core essence of healthy spirituality.
A few years ago I came across a quote attributed to Oliver Wendell Holmes that has come to mean a lot to me. He said, “I would not give a fig for simplicity this side of complexity, but I would give my life for simplicity on the other side of complexity.”
After many decades of grappling with faith, I feel like I have finally journeyed through the complexity and found simplicity on the other side. I now realize that I will never understand the mysteries of God or solve the problems of institutional religion. Nor do I need to. Instead, I only need to follow the call of Jesus to live a life of love. It’s as simple as that.
The Heart of Christianity
Of course, I’m not the first (or only) person to figure out that Christianity is more about behavior than it is about beliefs or belonging to an institution, as the following examples attest:
- In A New Christianity for a New World John Shelby Spong says that Christianity is “not something to be believed but a faith into which we must live.”
- In Saving God from Religion Robin Meyers says that Christianity is “a way of life, not a system of creeds and doctrines demanding intellectual assent to theological propositions.”
- In Faith After Doubt Brian McLaren says, “The only kind of faith that means anything is faith that expresses itself in love.”
- In If God Is Love Don’t Be a Jerk John Pavlovitz says, “When it comes to the heart of it all, your religion isn’t what you believe, your religion is how you treat people.”
Although she didn’t write a book, a wise woman once said to me, “I’ve never believed in the hocus-pocus part of religion. Isn’t Christianity about loving your neighbor?” Yes, it is. And that should be our focus.
Seeking to Live a Christian Life
These days, rather than fret about religious beliefs and institutions, I put my spiritual energies into living a Christian life. For example, I try to live out Christian values like love, mercy, grace, honesty, humility, integrity, marital fidelity, inclusiveness, empathy, and authenticity.
I also seek to engage in Christian practices like forgiving people, practicing generosity, serving others, expressing gratitude, showing compassion, being kind, prioritizing relationships, and working for justice. These kinds of Christian values and practices are central to my spiritual life.
Although I’m now retired, I still engage in Christian ministry. I don’t pastor a traditional church anymore. But through my work with Doubter’s Parish and other publishing venues (including significant interaction with readers), I serve as a “pastor” to a congregation of seekers, doubters, strugglers, and other thinking people who are trying their best to navigate faith in the twenty-first century. I deeply love the work.
And while I no longer hold traditional Christian beliefs, and I’m not (currently) participating in a traditional congregation, I enjoy a rich spiritual life. This includes:
- belief in a (nontraditional) God,
- love for Jesus,
- appreciation for the church,
- participation in meaningful Christian community,
- and a serious effort to live out Christian values and practices.
For further explanation about these components of my spiritual life see the second half of my new (free) book, My Long Farewell to Traditional Religion and What Remains. Much of this article comes from the concluding chapter.
I still consider myself a follower of Jesus and seek to live a life that would please him. I believe that effort, however imperfectly implemented, is my best way to live an authentic Christian life. Thank you for joining me in that ongoing journey through the pages of Doubter’s Parish.