The Dirty Under-belly of the UMC's Prejudice Against LGBTQ Persons

by

In June 1997, I was ordained as a Deacon in the United Methodist Church (UMC) on the road to becoming an Elder in the United Methodist Church. It was one of the most exciting days of my life. In June 2001, I was ordained as Elder in full-connection into the United Methodist Church. That ordination, was filled with just as much emotion, much of which was lament.

My vocational dreams had become overshadowed by the dirty under-belly of the church's prejudice against people being fully capable of love.

You see, in August of 1997, I met the love of my life. Never in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined that I could find someone that would love me and bring me into a deeper relationship with our Creator. Indeed, I met and fell in love with that person, Carole Hoke.

For over twenty-years, I walked the narrow tightrope of being called as a United Methodist minister and loving a same-gendered person. I hid. I made nice. I did my best to honor those two gifts; these two covenants that I knew, had both come from God. The UMC, had a "disciplinary" understanding that "homosexuality was incompatible with Christian teaching." Some of you may have the same thoughts. (This post is not intended to start an argument of who is right. So if you wish to sway me into being straight, just don't. I am good with our God just as I trust that you are good with God. That is what matters. I am done with arguing scripture. Neither side ever wins. What should win, is God's unconditional love for God's children.)

Not every pastor, local church community, or seminary professor had the same belief of those same "clobber passages" that the greater UMC had institutionalized into their Book of Discipline. Thank Creator that I met some of those teachers. Sue Laurie and Julie Bruno, Linda and Dwight W. Vogel, Barbara B. Troxell, Ruth Duck, Diana and Daniel D Facemyer, Karen and Kaden Tompkins-Davis, Jennie Edwards-Bertrand, Karen Dillaman, Jo Ploeger and Otis Thompson to mention just a few.

For seventeen of the last 23 years, I have worked as a hospice chaplain. I was a pretty darn good chaplain, too. (The paperwork was something else, I admit.) I did this because I felt called to this type of ministry. I did it because, my conference of the United Methodist Church is a very conservative one. This helped protect us from further mental, emotional scrutiny that can be so brutal and debilitating. This took it's toll on me emotionally but it was nothing compared to how the constant analysis of a very conservative local church community can be.

Last Summer, I was asked to do some pulpit supply for a local United Church of Christ (UCC). Eventually, I was one of two people called to serve as the church's co-pastors. I now serve that local church as its solo pastor.

I had every intention of serving this local UCC as a United Methodist. However, the larger denomination's politics changed come January 1, 2020. Even though I never "outed" myself to any of my Bishops or District Superintendents or any other member of the Bishop's Cabinet, I was "known." Before January 1, 2020, one could be an ordained Elder in the UMC and be in a same-gender relationship as long as one followed certain guidelines. Basically, it was "don't ask, don't tell." All of that changed January 1.

For those of you who do not follow church politics. The United Methodist Church is on the brink of schism. It will split over the issue of homosexuality. Last Summer, there was a vain and financially costly attempt to salvage the UMC through a meeting of the General Conference. At said meeting, the regulations on persons like me became much more strict.

I had thought about becoming ordained in the Episcopal tradition which is part of the UMC's heritage. I did not pursue that path because to do so, I would have to join the Episcopal church and violate by ordination vows. I COULD NOT BREAK THAT COVENANT. It felt so wrong to have to violate one to pursue the other. So, I decided that staying with the UMC and continue to try to hide in the margins would be okay. After all, everyone knew that the church was going to split. Certainly there would be grace and a blind-eye to what the Bishop and the Bishop's Cabinet thought they knew? Right? Wrong.

The Bishop knew enough that he and the Cabinet were no longer appointing me to "an appointment beyond the local church" such as hospice or to "another Christian denomination." The attached picture shows my ordination certificate. It makes it look like I chose to surrender my ordination. No. May the truth be known that I was asked to surrender my credentials. The "grace-filled" and "just" resolution was that I was to ask for my membership as an Ordained Elder to be withdrawn and to have my credentials inscribed and returned to me in order to unite with another Christian denomination.

May it be known, that THE UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST WAS THERE TO RECEIVE ME WITH OPEN ARMS. The UCC has been a part of my life in some capacity for 20 years. They have in so many ways taught me more about grace than the UMC. Grace in the UMC, is a big thing when it comes it is history and teachings but sometimes it falls short in demonstrating what they say they believe.

You might think I am sad or bitter. Not really. I have spent years lamenting over the divisive teachings and hateful rhetoric. I always hoped and worked for something better, for all. Now, I am just grateful that I can finally be in a local church and not constantly worry and hide from the judgemental others.

I have waited to share this trying to find the right time. It is June. The anniversary of my two ordinations in the UMC. It's June. Pride month.

Happy Pride Month Everyone. Love the YOU that God has made you to be. No exceptions or apologize.

Much love and peace to you all.

- Lauren

This post is published with the author's permission from her Facebook page.