No More 'Incompatibility'
Bishop David Graves (right) surveys the result of a General Conference vote on May 2 to approve a paragraph in the revised Social Principles that changes the church’s position on marriage. At left is professional parliamentarian Maurice Henderson, who served throughout the 10-day General Conferencel. (Photo by Paul Jeffrey, UM News.)
Special to United Methodist Insight | Dec. 12, 2025
United Methodism has entered a new era—one many of us over many decades--prayed, worked, and waited to happen. In the wake of the denomination’s dramatic reversal of long-standing restrictions on LGBTQ+ persons, the 2024 General Conference removed discriminatory language from the Discipline and affirmed a more inclusive ecclesial future. United Methodists around the world in 2025 overwhelmingly endorsed regionalization, ensuring that U.S. governance can advance ministry that welcomes all.
Yet as monumental as these steps are, a profound gap remains between policy and practice. The church’s unfinished business is nothing less than transforming congregational life so that people of all sexual orientations and gender identities are genuinely welcomed at every level of ministry. As author James Baldwin once observed, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” United Methodists now face the challenge of living the inclusive gospel we have finally affirmed.
Where Churches Struggle
Many United Methodist congregations claim to be affirming communities but quietly admit they feel uncertain—or even unprepared—about the language, pastoral concerns, and generational differences involved. Terms like queer, nonbinary, or gender-expansive can feel unfamiliar or intimidating to older United Methodists—myself included. The growing use of personal pronouns in church settings can feel more political than pastoral. Scriptural studies framed around homosexuality often do not reflect contemporary scholarship. Educational materials about same-sex relationships often are outdated. Meanwhile, younger generations experience the church’s silence or awkwardness as harmful, even when no ill intent is intended.
Some congregations put up signs of welcome but lack deeper understanding of the subtle factors—cultural, theological, and relational—that determine whether LGBTQ+ persons truly feel safe and accepted.
Why New Resources Matter
Groups like the United Methodist Association of Retired Clergy (UMARC) and Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) have initiated webinars and conversations that help clergy and laity navigate these evolving issues. But these first steps are only the beginning.
Looking to the future, educational materials might include theological pamphlets explaining contemporary human sexuality terminology and updated scholarly biblical interpretations focused on sexual orientation. Additionally needed are:
- A leadership guide for pastors and lay leaders
- Digital resources freely available but tailored to both urban and rural contexts
- A 3-to-4-week church school series designed to help congregations reflect, learn, and engage in conversation grounded in Wesleyan teachings on grace
Local churches typically display free pamphlets that address a variety of topics, like dealing with grief, coping with addiction, promoting mission projects, and counseling people with family stress. Missing are practical pamphlets on gay weddings and how to make LGBTQ+ inclusion a reality in both church and society.
These tools would help United Methodists “walk our talk,” moving beyond reformed policies to renewed congregations. Retired clergy—many of whom bring not only experience but also time—could become strategic partners in developing contextual resources for conferences and local churches.
Such work should observe the “Denver Principle” first articulated in the early HIV and AIDS crisis: “Nothing about us without us.” Any churchwide educational effort must be shaped in close consultation with LGBTQ+ clergy and laity to avoid unintended insensitivity or microaggressions.
Hard Questions the Church Must Face
Efforts at eliminating the United Methodist jurisdictions in the U.S. may sound bold, even liberal, but abolition remains premature. As Bishop Kristin Stoneking of the Mountain Sky Episcopal Area recently reminded us, “Only the Western Jurisdiction has elected openly lesbian and gay bishops.” That undeniable fact raises further questions:
- How many annual conferences have appointed openly LGBTQ+ district superintendents?
- In how many conferences can LGBTQ+ clergy safely form support groups or caucuses?
- Where do we see conference-level committees—like the Mountain Sky Conference’s Queer/LGBTQIA2S+ Matters Committee—approved by a majority vote? Are any funds provided so they can function?
- Do any of the General Conference apportionments specifically promote inclusiveness?
- How many churches are open to LGBTQ+ clergy appointments?
- Are churches clearly advertising that their facilities welcome same-gender marriages?
If the church claims to welcome all, these questions must become part of our denominational self-examination.
General agencies, tasked with serving the global church, may not always be positioned to provide context-specific education for U.S. congregations—especially as regionalization allows policies hostile to LGBTQ+ persons to continue in certain parts of the world.
The upcoming Council of Bishops Leadership Gathering, scheduled for October 20–24, 2026, raises additional concerns about the church’s ability to address these unresolved issues. The meeting will take place in a relatively isolated location—a size-restricted local church in Calgary, Canada—and its attendance policies effectively exclude retired clergy, including retired bishops. Depending on the choices made by active bishops, the number of LGBTQ+ persons present may be minimal, which only highlights the continuing challenges of representation in denominational leadership settings. One hopes that the unfinished business of LGBTQ+ inclusion will be honestly confronted at this non-legislative gathering, even if participation is limited.
In every Annual Conference, grassroots networks of clergy, laity, and retired pastors must join forces to provide tailored, theologically grounded resources and to lead effective advocacy efforts.
The Path Ahead
The United Methodist Church has taken belated steps toward justice and equality. Now is not the time to become apathetic; our work is only beginning. Our task now is to bring local congregations along—lovingly and patiently—so that inclusion is not merely adopted at General Conference but also embodied in pastoral appointments, Sunday worship, small-group life, pastoral care, and leadership development.
In every generation of Methodism, grace has moved from belief to practice through preaching, teaching, and holy conferencing. So too with LGBTQ+ inclusion. If the people called United Methodist commit to resourcing, educating, and accompanying one another in love and forgiveness, we can finally close the gap between our polity and our practice.
In 2002, I was given a rare opportunity—as a non-bishop—to address the United Methodist Council of Bishops at length and explain why I believed the church’s policies on homosexuality conflicted with the Gospel of Christ and United Methodism’s core theological convictions. While most bishops did not endorse my position, they engaged in dialogue, and the Council later published my address in Vision and Supervision: A Sourcebook of Significant Documents of the Council of Bishops of The United Methodist Church, 1968–2002.
It took 22 years for the inclusive stance I proposed to become the policy norm of the church and its bishops. The reality of inclusiveness will not happen automatically. It will happen because faithful people choose to complete the unfinished business of loving all God’s people.
Hopefully, it will not take another two decades to translate our new inclusiveness policy into practice—but doing so will require us to begin now with the hard work of changing habits and transforming hearts.
The Rev. Dr. Donald E. Messer
The Rev. Dr. Donald E. Messer serves as executive director of the Center for Health and Hope in Centennial, Colorado, and as a member of the United Methodist Global AIDS Committee. He is president emeritus of UMC-related Iliff School of Theology in Denver, Colorado.