UMNS File Photo by John C. Goodwin
GC2000 Protest
PROTESTING -- People protesting the United Methodist Church's anti-homosexual policies block the aisles during the denomination's 2000 General Conference. The Rev. Gilbert Caldwell is fourth from the left, and the Rev. Gregory Dell is fourth from the right.
A UM Insight Exclusive
The Rev. Gary Keene wrote this essay during the 2000 General Conference and finds it remains relevant today.
Prologue IV: General Conference, Tuesday, May 2, 2000, Cleveland, Ohio
I have returned to the land of Wonder bread. Ohio is square in the middle of the Midwest, touching my home state of Michigan. All the people look familiar, like maybe I went to high school with them to study being a WASP. All similar, physically, and in terms of style, and I find myself growing comfortable. I went into a department store over lunch, and suddenly plaid ties started calling to me in a primordial way.
Cleveland is close enough that my parents drove down to visit. They found a seat in the auditorium for the opening service of General Conference while I took care of some business. When I came to look for them in the agreed upon seating area, I made three false starts- there were too many bald male heads paired with women's dove-gray hair-dos. Once seated, they asked plenty of questions: Dad had been to Annual Conference a few times as a delegate, and Mom has always been on some church committee, so it was exciting for them to be there.
Especially when the music kicked in: nothing like a big choir and a good band. There was even a moment where I choked up a bit (pretty hard for a cynical old church bureaucrat like me.) It wasn't "Here I am Lord", since I've cried through that one at church camp more than a few times in my life. Instead, it came during the scripture reading: four different voices reading the Pentecost lesson in four different languages. Just before the English version came last, all of a sudden it overwhelmed me:
What if the story of the tongues of fire happened today- right now, in this room, this room full of more than a thousand Methodists, all forewarned that they are going to do battle with one another, all yearning for the church to reclaim its effectiveness, to leap into the future. What if in this precise moment of worship and many tongues, the holy spirit of God literally and visibly appeared in this room, confirming all our most heartfelt desires? Would we not be transformed? Would we not abandon every weakness of political agenda and forfeit our death grip on the status quo? Wouldn't we rise up and become the great and unstoppable force for change that we know we can be, that we want to be for God, with God, in the Divine transformation of the world?
For a moment, it seemed so real, so possible, that tears sprang to my eyes -- tears of hope? Of glimpsing, or sensing what that could be like? Then Mom tugged at my sleeve, asking about the colorful stoles on the bishops. I slipped back into the particulars, and we continued in worship.
Afterwards, we walked outside to take a few pictures of each other before they headed on home. As she sometimes does, Mom got a little weepy as we parted; Dad even almost got caught up in it. Soon they were off to the parking garage.
Walking back into the convention center, I wonder about her crying: they were happy tears, I know. She is proud of me: it was her mother, Grama Robinson, who first nurtured in me the idea of going into ministry. Now (as far as they can tell) I'm some kind of big shot in the church, on a first name basis with bishops and general secretaries. Clearly, in her worldview of what she was to do in life, this was one of her successes: her boy has made good.
How then could I possibly tell her, what words could I use to explain to her that everything I am learning, everything I see, all that I know of the church as an institution, as a faith community, as an organization that in virtually every aspect, if I am to fulfill the investment the church has made in me, then I must follow Jesus' words and see to it that the institutional church "falls to the ground and dies" so that it can once more bear fruit?
The Rev. Gary M. Keene currently serves as senior pastor of Camarillo United Methodist Church in Camarillo, CA, after 23 years' service in various positions on the staff of the California-Pacific Annual Conference.