Pastors Need a 'Third Place' for Healthy Lives

by

Special to United Methodist Insight

Even before Covid-19 and the lockdown, pastoral ministry was demanding and often isolating. Since then, it has been increasingly difficult for pastors, and many have left the vocation.

Pre-Covid, it was a struggle for many pastors to keep the work at work, because the nature of ministry bleeds into off-hours, weekends, and beyond time boundaries. During the lockdown, the lines became further blurred when we were working at home. Kitchen tables became pastoral studies. Porches and living rooms became backdrops for pastoral care online meetings. Our phones and laptops became our sanctuaries for mobile worship.

Through all of it, we as clergy were expected to help hold together organizations that were always meant to function in person. It’s no wonder that so many pastors are struggling to find balance in their personal and professional lives, fighting with unprocessed trauma, complicated call, and the reality of post-lockdown church realities. In this new, challenging world of ministry, pastors need a space beyond the church and home to recharge, connect, and pursue personal passions. This "third place," as sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined it, is a vital component of a pastor's well-being, fostering creativity, resilience, and a renewed sense of purpose.

The church and home are undoubtedly central to a pastor's life, even when those areas merged during the lockdown. Traditionally, the church is where they minister, lead, and serve their congregation, while home is their sanctuary for family and rest. However, the constant demands of these two environments can leave little room for personal growth and self-care, especially when they overlapped!

A third place offers a respite from the pressures of ministry and the responsibilities of home. It's a space where pastors can simply be themselves, engage in hobbies, connect with friends, or simply enjoy solitude. This can take many forms: a coffee shop, a gym, a park, a library, or even a virtual community online.

The benefits of a third place for pastors are numerous:

  • Stress reduction: A change of scenery and engaging in enjoyable activities can help reduce stress and promote relaxation. Locations hold specific identity within us, so it is hard to separate the home from home stress and work from work stress. A third space is useful.
  • Creativity and inspiration: Pursuing hobbies or engaging in new experiences can spark creativity and provide fresh perspectives for ministry. Opening ourselves up to new locations welcome new stimuli or simply a renewed perspective on the world.
  • Social connection: Connecting with people outside of the church context can foster meaningful relationships and combat feelings of isolation. Any opportunity for a clergy member to connect outside of their faith community can bring a respite from one-dimensional social connections and remind us we are myriad in our creation.
  • Personal growth: A third place offers opportunities to learn new skills, explore interests, and develop talents beyond the scope of ministry. While continuing education and professional development are often line items in our budgets, deliberate focus on creating space to do both is hard.
  • Renewal and restoration: Taking time for leisure and self-care can replenish a pastor's energy and enthusiasm for their calling. It can create a peaceful space to talk and listen to God. It can be the quiet waters that the psalmist refers to in Psalm 23.

It's important to note that a third place is not about escaping from ministry, neglecting responsibilities, or avoiding your family. It's about intentionally creating space for personal renewal and growth, which ultimately benefits the pastor, their congregation, and their families.

Here are some practical tips for pastors to find and cultivate their third place. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Identify your passions: What activities bring you joy and fulfillment outside of ministry?
  • Explore your community: Where are spaces in your community that offer opportunities for connection, relaxation, and personal growth?
  • Dedicated time: Where in your schedule can you make regular visits to your third place a priority in your schedule?
  • Connect with others: Are there any opportunities to engage with people who share your interests or passions?
  • Presence: When you're in your third place, what will keep you from focusing on the present moment and let go of worries or distractions?

The church does not thrive by alienating those called to pastoral ministry or isolating the faithful shepherds by erasing their identity outside the church. By intentionally creating a third place in their lives, pastors can foster a healthier, more balanced, and ultimately more fruitful ministry. It's a space where they can be refreshed, inspired, and empowered to continue serving their congregations with passion and purpose. Remember, as Jesus himself often withdrew to solitary places for prayer and reflection, taking time for personal renewal is not just a luxury, but an essential part of faithful discipleship.

The Rev. Kellen Roggenbuck serves Stoughton UMC in Stoughton, Wisconsin, and teaches Evangelism and Discipleship at the Iowa Conference Licensing School.