Love – love is patient, kind, never rude, does not insist on its own way. Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things.
This passage is often read at weddings – and well it should be – as this describes what love is and how love should be lived out in marriage, in family, in community.
As I was looking for just the right passage to speak to what this day is all about for us here – this passage jumped off the page at me – because this is what the life and marriage of Cisco [Varela] and Brian [Moeschler[ is all about. And it has been a model of this kind of love for a very long time.
Notice it does not say that love is about how I FEEL – how I am satisfied, fulfilled, made happy, get my needs met. Love, marriage, family, community is always about the other if that love is to be of God. Because God is who is the very essence, the very being of love is always and only about the other.
And that is what Brian and Cisco’s marriage is all about and that is why we are all gathered here today – because their love, their family has always been about the other – always open to sharing love, especially with the most vulnerable and most in need of love – children who need to know what love is, children who need a forever family.
And now, thanks to these to fine people three little boys know what love is and will know what love is for the rest of their lives – three little boys will experience the love of God through Brian and Cisco, three little boys will know that no matter what happens, no matter who they become, no matter where they go in life, they are loved, they are held in a forever family who will never leave them.
That did not begin on May 11 [when Michael was legally adopted] or July 17 [when Patrick and Bishop were legally adopted]. Those were awesome days, when Michael and Patrick and Bishop joined this forever family officially – with the words “the adoption is final, the order is granted” Michael and Patrick and Bishop became officially part of the Moeschler-Varela family – but it did not begin then.
Years ago – seven foster children ago – Brian and Cisco began this process that has brought us to this moment. Because theirs is a love for others, always open and welcoming to all, they opened their family to children who needed a home, and from the beginning that home was open to whatever was best for the child – not them. They were willing to bear all things, believe all things and endure all things for the good of those children – even the pain of saying goodbye if that was in their best interests – because this love was never, and still is not, about them – it is always about the other – about the children.
Years ago, this church, St. Stephen UMC, embraced this love and welcome. Members of this church helped Brian and Cisco get their home ready to receive their first foster child. This church welcomed and embraced as our own each child who came to live with them – they were ours. We cried with Brian and Cisco as they said goodbye to some of the children who went back to their families of origin. And we hoped and prayed for the day when Brian and Cisco would celebrate the reality of their forever family – we hoped and prayed for this very day.
I remember the Sunday they came in with just Michael – having said goodbye to another foster child as she went to live with her relatives. And then just one Sunday later I think it was – here they came in with not one little boy, not two, but three. I remember that they looked a bit tired, but that the smiles on their faces were as big as the sun and so were ours. And they’ve been here ever since! A part of this church family.
And that is true I know for everyone who is here. You are here because you share in this joy and you have shared in the journey to get to this place. You have supported and loved Brian and Cisco and made this day possible for them and for Michael and Patrick and Bishop.
This family did not begin on May 11 or July 17 – it began from the moment Brian and Cisco opened their home to each of these boys. But May 11 and July 17 were big days. When the seal of approval was put on this family it became what it had always been – it was made official – it was celebrated and affirmed and acknowledged for what it had been and would be – a forever home of love that is kind, patient, bearing, believing and enduring.
Today we celebrate baptism. In the UMC we practice infant baptism because we affirm that God is the agent of baptism – not us – and that God welcomes into the family of God all people of all ages. Brian and Cisco will promise to nurture and disciple these children so that one day they will be able to make an affirmation of faith for themselves but that is not what we understand baptism to be. Baptism is God’s act of placing God’s seal on the life of this child. In Baptism, a child, an adult, anyone who comes, is marked as Christ’s own, is incorporated into the church that Christ began, and in the act of baptism the person dies with Christ so that he or she will live forever with Christ.
It is God’s work. And like the adoption process it did not begin today. God has loved Michael and Patrick and Bishop since the moment they came into being. God’s love has been poured out on them and God’s grace has been with them since the beginning. We humans do not control or determine or confine God’s love – it is everywhere, it is for everyone, it is uncontainable and unconditional.
Like adoption, baptism – the pouring of the water and the saying the words – makes tangible, makes visible, affirms and seals what God is already doing. In baptism we celebrate God’s grace that is already working in this child. In baptism the church affirms that this child is held forever in God’s love and in the love of this church. In baptism this church takes on with the parents, the responsibility and privilege of sharing God’s love, nurturing the child in that love and bringing that child to full faith in Christ.
In baptism, something really does happen. Michael, Patrick and Bishop don’t look any different since going to the courthouse in Collin and Denton counties. They don’t really understand what happened there but it changed their lives forever and they will come to know and appreciate what it means in time. Likewise, today, their will be no outward change in Michael, Patrick and Bishop after we pour some water on their heads – except they will be a little wet and they may not like it much – they don’t really understand what happens here – none of us does fully – but it will change their lives forever, and with Brian and Cisco’s love and patience and kindness and bearing and believing and enduring – they will come to know what it means to be part of the family of God – always loving, always reaching out to the other, always open and caring and giving to those who are vulnerable and hurting and needing to know the love of God in their lives.
Thank you Brian and Cisco for your witness of love. Thank you for being part of this family of faith and sharing this moment with all of us. What a blessing it is to be part of this celebration.
Glory be to God who loves us all. Amen.
Nancy DeStefano
Rev. Nancy DeStefano
The Rev. Nancy DeStefano is pastor of St. Stephen United Methodist Church in Mesquite, Texas.