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Asian woman mask
Photo courtesy of Jason Valendy
The mask has become a symbol. They can be a symbol of your support of the president. They can be a symbol of your distrust of the “deep state”. They can be a symbol of freedom being infringed. They can be a symbol of the dumbing of America (those with masks are “sheeple”) or the proof of a conspiracy that Lizard people cooked up a virus then fabricated the story. Personally, I struggle to see how Christians would find wearing a mask is asking too much or demanding something irrational. Christians have preached for a long time about a God man who said that we should take up the cross for the sake of a Gospel that is irrational (grace is always irrational).
However, you “feel” about masks I have seen three practices of mask wearing that seem to reflect three different leadership styles. I call them the Imperatives, the Imperials, and the Invitationals.
The Imperatives are those you see who wear the mask because that is the law or the rule or the expectation. They are the people who follow the rules and they are the ones who generally display pro-social behaviors. They don’t even talk much about their masks because it would be as pointless as talking about why you stop at a red light. But if they do they might say, “You should wear your mask.” The danger with the Imperatives is self-righteousness can creep in and can be easily justifiable because they are following the mask rule and everyone else should be as well. Of course they do not have to follow the rule themselves, but they do because it is the right thing to do. I am an Imperative leader. I follow the rules and when I fail to do so I feel awful. I want to do better and I want to ensure that I am doing my part. I kick myself when I fail and I also can be very self-righteous in my rule following skills.
The Imperials are the mask wearers who come into the presence of another and then say, “You can take that mask off around me.” These folk talk about masks like they are dumb or that the rules do not apply to them. More to the point the Imperials are those who want to tell you how to live the rule out. Unlike the Imperatives (above) the Imperials say the quite part out loud. If the Imperatives have an inflated sense of righteousness because they follow the rules, the Imperials have an inflated sense of righteousness for bucking the rules. These leaders like that there are rules for others to follow, but are less inclined to follow the rules themselves because they know better. I am an imperial leader. I like to tell people what to do and boss them around so that I am in control of situations that I have little control over. I roll my eyes at someone following a rule that I consider dumb and I wonder why some rules even exist to begin with. I know better than other leaders - especially leaders that follow the rules.
The Invitationals are the people who may or may not want to wear a mask but will ask if it okay with you if they take their own mask off. These folk are the people who may really desire that everyone wear a mask or they might be people who just follow the rules to comply, but they still find it important to ask the others around them if it is okay to remove their mask. They are mindful that permission seeking and consent are key ingredients to relationship building and fostering. They are mindful of the interconnectivity of all things and that everyone’s actions impact everyone else. They hold their position lightly while also making their preferences known. They try to protect the agency of the other, giving them a say in the decisions. Perhaps more than other postures, the invitationals are relationally aware of who to ask and when to ask. They make notes of people who would not be comfortable to remove masks and they would not ask them to do something that is outside the others desires.
Like any generalization, the way that one wears their mask is not prescriptive of every action of their leadership style. And yet, in my small sample size of interactions, there is a bit of truth in these behaviors. It is notable that I find that I am repulsed by the Imperials, as they are repulsed by others. Ironically, I judge the Imperatives as being too judgmental. Perhaps most appropriately, I am drawn to the invitational leaders as they make space for others to be drawn into.
The Rev. Jason Valendy, along with his wife the Rev. Estee Valendy, serves as co-pastor of Saginaw United Methodist Church in Saginaw, Texas. This post is republished with permission from the author's blog JasonValendy.net.