Scott Gilliland
The Rev. Scott Gilliland speaks at the UMC-Next conference in Leawood, Kansas. (Photo Courtesy of Rachel Griffin Baughman).
Editor's note: The following is a witness given by the Rev. Scott Gilliland at UMC Next gathering at the Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas.
I think it should be said from the outright, that other than being a person under the age of 35, my voice is about as privileged as it gets. I’m a white, straight, Christian, American, male, born in suburban Texas to two middle-class parents who both graduated college, etc. Basically, if I wrote a list of all my privileges, it would be longer than a receipt from CVS. So there’s that.
I was asked to give a testimony in response to the question: "Where is God leading us at this critical moment in the life of the Methodist Movement?" And to answer it in front of 600 people. And to keep it conversational. And under four minutes. Well here goes:
First, I believe God is leading us to confess our sin and repent to believe the Gospel.
I know sexism is alive in The United Methodist Church because I’m not just clergy, I’m also a clergy spouse. My wife, Raegan, is also an ordained elder, and we serve in ministry as Co-Pastors. I’ve seen the frustration when a member calls my sermon “powerful,” but her sermon “cute.” I’ve seen the sadness when a couple asks me to officiate their wedding because, “we’d just prefer a man.” I’ve seen the total shock when, going before her Board of Ordained Ministry after having given birth three weeks earlier because she’s a certified bad-ass, she is asked by a man in the interview, not “why is it you feel God has called you to ministry,” but instead, “How is breastfeeding going?”
It is through my relationship with Raegan, and my Methodist siblings Jenna and Julie that I have learned to more clearly see systemic sexism and articulate my personal confession.
It is through my relationship with my black Methodist siblings Marcus and Charles and Bryant that I have learned to more clearly see systemic racism and articulate my personal confession.
It is through my relationship with my LGBTQ Methodist siblings Randall and Craig and Jane that I have learned to more clearly see the immeasurable harm done to LGBTQ persons and articulate my personal confession.
We must confess that the sin in us and in our faith tradition does run deep. And as we seek to fully include our LGBTQ siblings, and confront our current systems of white supremacy and patriarchy, I pray we remember that it is our connection and relationship with one another that allows people like me to have our eyes opened, articulate our confession, and walk the path of repentance born of the Gospel, a Gospel that says until ALL my siblings are well, none of us are.
Second, I believe God is leading us to co-create, not the Methodist Movement that we want, but the Methodist Movement that our children need.
Raegan and I have a daughter named Andie, and she'll tell you she’s three-and-a-half.
There’s not much I know about who Andie is going to be when she grows up.
I don’t know if Andie will go to college or where she’ll want to go.
I don’t know what Andie will want to do.
I don’t know who she’s going to fall in love with. I don’t know who will break her heart. (I do know I’ll kill ‘em)
I don’t know if she will identify with different pronouns.
I don’t know what her relationship with God will be like, and I don’t know what she will think of the Church.
There’s a lot of questions Andie will face as she gets older. I pray we can build a Methodist Movement so that she never has to question if her church loves her, cares for her, or has a place for her. This movement is not just about us. It’s about our children, our grandchildren, our nieces and nephews, the kid down the street and the next county over. We owe them this hard work, these tough conversations, so that one day we can hand them a church they can be proud of.
Lastly, I believe God is leading us to lose.
Every year, at the clergy session of the Annual Conference, we have a tradition of singing “And Are We Yet Alive?” I’m always moved by this song, but more recently, I’ve come to especially appreciate the final verse:
Let us take up the cross, till we the crown obtain, and gladly reckon all things loss, so we may Jesus gain.
I love that line, gladly reckon all things loss. I just want to say, Church, I believe God is leading us to lose.
God is leading us to lose our fear of an unknown future.Leading us to lose our willingness to stay comfortably silent.Leading us to lose our desire to protect power at the expense of the marginalized.Leading us to lose our assumptions.Leading us to lose our shame.Leading us to lose our desire to silo off into echo chambers.Leading us to lose our need to have control over every little detail.Leading us to lose our pessimism.To lose our cynicism.Lord, let us lose our egos.I believe God is leading us to lose anything that keeps us from taking up the cross and proclaiming the Gospel, so that the world (ourselves included) might gain Jesus.