Men Are A Mess

by

Special to the Reporter

Men are a mess.

That may sound like an anti-male perspective coming from the someone who works in men’s ministry and Scouting ministry. But looking at the news, both local and national, the challenges we attempt to improve are mostly with men and boys. And they are messy.

Perhaps our goal should be to help men clean up their messes.

This week there were two mass shootings perpetrated by boys who were too young to buy beer. They used weapons developed specifically for war. I trained on similar weapons when I was invited to join the Army and I am aware of what they can do.

What a screwed-up mess.

This week I received a press release about the expansion of the “safe house” for women escaping violence from men is here in Nashville. The release announced that the new addition is already at capacity.

This house protects women escaping from men who say, “I love you” and use a warped interpretation of Scripture to justify their attacks.

What an un-godly mess.

In the next few weeks I will be reunited with my “little” from Big Brothers Big Sisters. This is a school-based program, so we have not seen each other since June. Even though it is not “cool” or “correct” to do so, he will greet me with bear hug, and whisper how much he has missed me. Why is he in this program? His dad is in prison, and his family arrangement is totally fractured. He deals with situations far beyond what a boy in the sixth grade should have to deal with. He is a joy, but his home life is messy.

But, in spite of these messes, there are bright spots.

In the next three weeks the Cub pack at our church will begin recruiting boys and girls from three different elementary schools.

In a few weeks there will be a national conference here in Nashville on domestic violence. I have been asked to lead two workshops with my friend who is the director of community partnerships at the Islamic Center of Nashville. We will discuss how some misguided men within different religions use holy texts to excuse their violence against women. We will also use holy texts to illustrate a more sacred stance for men which brings love, protection, and grace. We will focus on how “good men” are changing this culture.

Last week, I finished leading an eight-week study via Zoom, on Dr. Kevin Watson’s book, The Class Meeting. There were eight men in this class from Texas, Kentucky, New Hampshire, Florida, and Maine. Most had never met, and the group became amazing. This process is the way to make transforming disciples. The participants promised to start similar groups in their contexts, and to continue to meet to share their work.

I am uncomfortable asking someone to do something that I am unwilling to do. So, last week, after doing some data research, I visited a pastor and a leader of men’s ministry at a church in my district in Tennessee. I did not try to sell anything, but rather let them tell me about the great work they are doing in Scouting and in men’s ministry. I then showed them some resources that are available through the commission, answered questions, and mentioned some ways their church could participate with other United Methodist congregations in the area.

We could learn from them, and they could learn from other churches. It was a great meeting and I am planning to follow up. This church was not on anyone’s radar as a site where men and boys are growing in Christ.

Sometimes, I must stop, set all the messes aside, and remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:33-34, “Seek first the kingdom of God.”

There are messes you and I can’t fix; I ask God to open my eyes to the messes where I can have a positive impact.

Why don’t you join me?

United Methodist layman Gilbert C. Hanke serves as general secretary of the General Commission on United Methodist Men in Nashville, Tenn.