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Introvert Name Badge
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Special to United Methodist Insight
If you are a life-long churchgoer like me, you’ve seen it happen – the pastor or worship leader is making announcements at the beginning of worship and invites the visitors to stand. I use the word “invitation” loosely because the pressure surrounding it makes it more like a command. In some cases, they go one step further and “invite” them to share their name, so the congregation can commit their face and name to memory.
In the case of the introverted, which some studies show as up to half of your visitors, this is a wasted exercise. You won’t need to know their names or faces because they are likely never coming back.
Introverts can be described as people who draw their energy from having time alone and enjoy spending time being by themselves or in small groups. They may get overwhelmed by new situations or large groups of people. Introverts prefer to focus on one task at a time and observe a situation before jumping in.
Welcoming introverts into your church is an important and enriching endeavor, especially since we often do the opposite. Much to the chagrin of extroverts, there is compelling evidence in the Bible that Jesus was an introvert. He often went off to be alone after interacting with large groups (Luke 4:1-2, 5:16, 6:12-13). In at least one case, he took a post-sermon nap after being around a large group (Matthew 8).
Many churches’ focus on visitors is geared toward the extroverted, who draw energy from being around large groups of people and are innately social. They often thrive under this sort of social stimulation. But by creating an environment that respects and accommodates introverted individuals, you can foster a sense of inclusivity and ensure that everyone feels valued and comfortable. Many churches focus on inclusive spaces for different ages, different ethnicities and cultures, and people of different abilities, but we rarely consider what it looks like to be inclusive toward those with introverted personalities. Here are some strategies to make your church a more welcoming place for introverts.
Provide a Quiet Space
Introverts often thrive in quiet and peaceful environments. If your church mornings are like my congregation’s, then quiet and peaceful are not often the proper descriptors. Consider designating a quiet space within your church where individuals can go for reflection, prayer, or simply to take a break from the bustling activities. This space can serve as a sanctuary for introverts who may need a reprieve from social interactions and need to recharge.
Offer Small Group Opportunities
While large gatherings and social events are integral parts of church life, introverts may feel more at ease in smaller, intimate settings. Encourage the formation of small groups within your church. I know for many smaller congregations, this may seem impossible to sustain with the limited numbers, but a small group can be things like book clubs, discussion circles, or prayer groups. It doesn’t have to be a formal “small group” as is often meant by the term. Creating group environments where introverts can engage in more meaningful and low-key interactions will bring introverts into a space of social community in a way they can thrive.
Respect Personal Boundaries
Introverts may be more sensitive to personal space and social boundaries. Don’t make them stand up, raise their hands, or draw attention to themselves, especially in worship or large group settings. Encourage a culture of respect within your church community, where individuals are mindful of others' need for privacy and personal space. Allow introverts to be the fly on the wall and observe before they engage. I have fallen into the mindset before of assuming the quiet people in the back who rush out of service as I offer the benediction must be unhappy. Resist drawing that conclusion. Be mindful of physical contact and always have your greeters and church members ask for consent before initiating interactions that may make introverts uncomfortable.
Allow for Alternative Forms of Communication
As easy or convenient as it might be to talk to someone in person and pick up the phone, it may feel more comfortable for introverts to express themselves through writing or other non-verbal means. As I get older, the more I find that people don’t want to talk on the phone. Send an email or a text message. Provide opportunities for people to share their thoughts and feelings through the written word instead of verbally. This not only helps to accommodate introverts but also allows you to organize and proofread your thoughts.
Allow and Encourage Silent Participation
In addition to energetic, vocal participation we often seek in worship spaces and church gatherings, provide opportunities for silent participation. Introverts may prefer to listen and reflect quietly rather than actively participate in vocal or energetic activities. Acknowledge the diverse ways in which individuals engage in worship and community life. This is a balance to engage and connect with extroverts as well, but there are some things we can eliminate from our repertoire altogether. For example, it is well past time we do away with the “Good morning! Oh, that was pitiful! Let’s try that again, GOOD MORNING!” Let it rest in peace, please.
Provide Social Expectations Clearly
Introverts often appreciate the clarity of expectations and structure in social settings. Communicate clear expectations for worship services, church events, and activities. Provide detailed information about what to expect ahead of time. This can help introverts feel to participating in church events and is also a good planning practice for you as you execute events.
Educate the Extroverts
Extroverts are often oblivious to the fact that other people don’t enjoy being in extroverted spaces like they do. Raise awareness and provide education within your church community about the unique qualities and strengths of introverted individuals and the steps the church is going to take to accommodate them specifically. This education will help to recalibrate the extroverted church community members toward a space of mutual respect and appreciation.
By implementing these strategies, you can create a church environment that is welcoming, inclusive, and respectful of introverted individuals and celebrates the diversity of personalities and temperaments within your church community. By fostering understanding and empathy, you will enrich the church experience for everyone, and create a sense of belonging for all members. As Paul put it, “As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons, and we were all given to drink of one Spirit. Now the body is not a single part, but many. If a foot should say, “Because I am not a hand I do not belong to the body,” it does not for this reason belong any less to the body.” (1 Corinthians 12).
In other words, if an introvert were to say, “Because I am not an extrovert I do not belong to the church,” they do not for this reason belong any less to the church, so do all you can to help them see and feel welcomed.
Kellen Roggenbuck
Pastor Kellen Roggenbuck serves Stoughton UMC and teaches Evangelism and Discipleship at the Iowa Conference Licensing School.