Bullhorn
It's time to quit shouting, especially on social media, and embrace the calmer habits expressed by the Apostle Paul in Ephesians, writes the Rev. Jack Shitama. (Photo 115465244 © Anton Estrada - Dreamstime.com)
The rhetoric is getting intense. This Facebook post is a good example.
“Some of the most hateful arguments I’ve seen on FB lately have been people fighting over what to feed their dogs. Really, people?”
Oh, and there’s the Supreme Court nomination. Before that there was immigration, tax cuts, gun control, Black Lives Matter, health care and gay marriage (to name a few). And now there’s dog food.
The lines of division are hardening. Partisanship is rampant. Everyone seems to be digging in their heels. Demonizing one’s opponents is common place.
In the midst of this, I ask that we all take a deep breath. Perhaps there is a way for us to communicate with each other in a way that builds up instead of tears down. Perhaps we can work to engage in life-giving speech in a hate-filled world.
Words from the book of Ephesians come to mind as a guide.
So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another (Eph 4:25).
Feel free to speak the truth, but remember that it’s your truth. I am not saying there is no such thing as absolute truth. However, my experience is that we humans claim to know this truth far more often then we actually do. Part of our human condition is that we are biased and irrational. So while we believe that we may know the truth, we ought to be very careful about how we express this.
Say what you believe, but give others the freedom to disagree.
We would all do well to take a lesson from Abraham Lincoln, who was President during the most divided period in this country‘s history. Here is what he said in his second inaugural address, near the end of the Civil War.
“Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God’s assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men’s faces, but let us judge not, that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered. That of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has His own purposes.”
Lincoln made decisions, based on principle and politics, and they still resulted in civil war. Yet, he was wise enough to know that his truth may not be absolute truth. God’s purposes are not often knowable. Humility is essential to temper our understanding of truth.
Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil (Eph 4:26-27).
We can be passionate about what we believe, even to the point of anger. But as Lincoln says we would do well not to judge others who disagree with us. When our passion, our anger gets out of hand, we make room for all kinds of evil. Relationships get broken. Grudges, even feuds, develop. We focus on winners and losers, instead of the common good. There’s a lot of anger going on right now, and the devil is having a field day with it.
Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up,[a] as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear (Eph 4:29).
There are several parts to this verse that I think are important.
Avoid evil talk. The literal translation for evil is rotten, putrefied, or corrupt and unfit for use. In my opinion, this describes much of the political rhetoric these days.
What if, instead, our words were used to build up others, even those with whom we disagree?
Those who disagree with us are human beings worthy of love and grace like anyone else. We don’t have to agree with them, but we can respect them as persons. It’s much easier to do violence, verbal or physical to those that we dehumanize and demonize.
How can you help somebody that disagrees with you? Start by respecting them as a person. Listen to what matters to them. Get beyond the rhetoric and find what you have in common. We all desire a connection to others, meaningful work, emotional safety and physical security.
Find the good in the other. You don’t have to agree on every issue or even many issues to do this.
I have a friend who served in Vietnam. He and I disagree on just about every political issue. But I saw on Facebook that he is visiting Vietnam with his wife. My first thought was not that he is a bad person, or that his politics are awful. I wondered how the experience would go for him. To me, that’s more important than our politics. The only thing I could think of to post on Facebook was “God be with you.”
To me, that’s what it means to use words that give grace. This is God‘s unmerited love and favor. This is God loving us no matter what. Can we love someone with whom we passiointely disagree We can, by the grace of God. That’s how we can be a people who offer life-giving speech.
I am not sure how we will work our way through the things that currently divide us. In many cases, we will need to agree to disagree. We can each work for what we believe. We can vote. We can contribute to causes and advocate for issues. We can even protest.
But we have a choice. We can communicate in ways that build others up, and that are a means of grace. Or we can tear down those on the other side. We can let our anxiety spill out into the wars of words that swirl around us. Or we can be a non-anxious presence. Which will you choose?
The Rev. Jack Shitama serves as executive director of Pecometh Camp & Retreat Ministries in Maryland. This post is republished with permission from Jack Shitama's Blog for Non-Anxious Leaders.