My 9 Least Favorite Religious Clichés

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MY 9 LEAST FAVORITE RELIGIOUS CLICHÉS

Sometimes, when others are hurting, we are tempted to fill in the awkward silence with clichés. I’ve put together a list of some of my least favorite religious clichés. Today in “Conversations in Living” we will discuss what makes religion helpful and unhelpful in such awkward times.

1. “GOD NEVER GIVES US MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE”

When someone is feeling crushed by life, it can be very difficult to honor the pain and fear they are feeling. It might be helpful to say, “God never gives us more than we can handle,” but to someone in pain it can also feel like we are more protective of our theology than of our wounded friend. Life isn’t always fair. Maybe things balance out in eternity, but sometimes people just need us to sit with them in their pain and let them put things together for themselves.”

2. “HATE THE SIN, LOVE THE SINNER”

It was actually Gandhi who said this. I suspect he was suggesting that we separate people from the actions we oppose. When people think they get to pick and choose what is a sin they can justify mistreating people in the name of ancient moral codes we only use on certain groups. It is one thing to say 'love the oppressor, hate the oppression," but it is something else to say love the LGBTQIA+ person, but hate LGBTQIA+ relationships. That’s like saying love the fish, but hate their gills.”

3." SPEAKING IN CHRISTIAN-ESE"

When we use the same vocabulary for non-Christians that we use in church we are forcing non-Christians to jump over theological hurdles to be with us. If we realized how easily clichés can put us in a trance we would avoid them like the you know what.

4. “EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON”

When I first began working with survivors of sexual assault, I was astounded by the fact that almost all of them began by blaming themselves. It seems we would rather blame ourselves than to accept that much of life is outside our control. We need to understand that life can be terribly unfair. It really doesn’t help a survivor of trauma to have to figure out some kind of lesson that pain was sent to teach them. If a lifetime of ministry has convinced me of anything it is that we can learn from anything that happens to us, but terrible things don’t happen to us to teach us a lesson.

5. “HEAVEN MUST HAVE NEEDED A PLUMBER SO GOD TOOK UNCLE JOE"

Christian funerals have some of the worst clichés I have ever heard. One of the most common clichés I’ve heard in funerals is that God takes people from us to serve some function in heaven. It's fine if adults want to say such things tongue in cheek but when there are children in the room we have to consider how harmful it can be to put someone that child loved in a box and lower them underground. It is understandable that humans want to believe that someone is driving this bus, but the idea that God has "taken" someone from us can greatly complicate the grieving process.

6. "THE MIRACLES OF THE BIBLE PROVE THAT GOD EXISTS"

Many religious people roll their eyes at the miracles described in other faiths. We should realize that it feels just as ridiculous when we use our own scripture as evidence for our beliefs. The witnesses to Jesus’ resurrection in Christian scripture are no more convincing to an outsider than are the witnesses in the Odyssey to the proposition that Poseidon rules the waves.

7. "BIBLICAL MARRIAGE"

"Biblical marriage" is one of the most deceptive phrases of all time. The bible has rape, polygamy, impregnated slaves and the casting out of inconvenient wives and children. The lessons to be gathered from the various versions of "biblical marriage" are a.) that we must be very flexible when it comes to sexual ethics, and b.) that forcing one code on everyone is a kind of gang rape.

8. "WE NEED TO PUT GOD BACK IN SCHOOLS"

The idea that God is letting school shootings happen because the religious right is not able to dominate the public sector is incredibly toxic. Again, if Jesus is to be believed, the heart of Christianity is being a good neighbor. It is an obvious fact of history that when ANY religion gains domination over a nation's political structure it becomes deadly, first for its enemies, then for the nation, and ultimately for that religion itself.

9. "PRAYING IN THE NAME OF JESUS TO A MIXED CROWD"

Jesus walked the earth before Christian scripture was written, before the creeds were standardized and before much of the church standardized praying into mindless clichés. Jesus summarized his teachings as being a good neighbor. There is nothing Christlike about forcing Jesus on others. If a Christian clergy's understanding has not grown enough to include everyone, they should refuse to lead prayer until their love is big enough to include Christians and non-Christians equally.

The Rev. Jim Rigby is minister at St. Andrew's Presbyterian Church - Austin, Texas. This post is republished with permission from his Facebook page.