Three Ways Jesus Shows Us How to Connect with Those Who Believe Differently

by

But he had to go through Samaria. So he came to a Samaritan city called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired out by his journey, was sitting by the well. It was about noon.

John 4:4-6

This is the beginning of the Bible passage known traditionally as “the woman at the well.” It’s a contrast with Jesus’ encounter with Nicodemus in John 3. In that case, a male, religious leader came to Jesus in the middle of the night. Here, Jesus approaches an unnamed female of an enemy people in the middle of the day.

If you don’t know the story, read John 4:4-42. It’s a long passage. In fact, there are 13 dialogue exchanges. It’s one of the longest conversations in the Gospel of John.

It’s a real conversation with someone who is completely different.

I believe there are three things we can learn from this to help us as leaders.

One: Intentionally seek out those who think and believe differently.

The text says Jesus “had to go through Samaria.” He was on his way from Jerusalem to Galilee. He could have gone a more roundabout way along the Jordan River to avoid Samaria. But, the road through Samaria was the most direct route.

Scholars indicate that the word translated “had to” is associated with God’s plan. As in, you know you “have to” do something because it’s God’s plan for you. In this case, it was God’s plan for Jesus to go through Samaria specifically to have this encounter.

Samaritans claimed only the first five books of the Hebrew bible as scripture. They believed Mt. Gerizim, in Samaria, to be the place God ordained for the temple. They built a shrine there in the 5th century BCE. The Jews claimed God’s home was at the temple in Jerusalem. This disagreement was central to the conflict between Samaritans and Jews. So much so, that Jewish troops destroyed the Samaritan temple in 128 BCE.

When Jesus approaches a Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well, he is crossing all sorts of boundaries. Jews avoided contact with Samaritans. Jewish men didn’t initiate conversation with an unknown woman. Rabbis didn’t engage in public conversations with women.

And, while the crux of the passage focuses on Jesus as Messiah and his gift of living water, I believe this passage calls Christians to have an openness to those who think and believe differently. Especially other Christians with whom we disagree on controversial issues.

There are lots of possibilities. Christians are divided on a host of issues including LGBTQ inclusion, black lives matter, gun control, the death penalty, immigration and #metoo.

When was the last time you “had to” engage in honest conversation with someone with whom you disagree?

Two: Don’t judge.

This is good advice, in general. In the text, Jesus reveals that he knows all about the woman. She’s had five husbands and the man she was with was not her husband. Though we may read a lot into this, scholars note that there can be a variety of reasons that a woman in the patriarchal society of Jesus’ day would have such a history without moral laxity. As one scholar notes, interpreters seem more concerned with her history than Jesus does.

Regardless, it is clear that Jesus passes no judgment.

How about you? Do you pass judgment on those who think and believe differently?

Three: Find common ground.

As I noted, a central conflict between Jews and Samaritans was the location of the temple. Jesus transforms the debate. He moves the worship of God from one based on location to one based on spirit and truth. In so doing, Jesus establishes common ground. Not just with the woman, but with many Samaritans who came to believe.

Rather than dividing, Jesus found ways to include.

What if, instead of focusing on where you disagree, you looked for areas of common ground?

One of the blessings in my life has been to work side by side in ministry with those I know believe differently than I on one or more important theological and/or political issues. We are able to find common ground in our faith in Jesus, as well as in the work that we are doing together. Sometimes we’ll have real conversations about the issues where we disagree. But, those issues don’t divide us because what we have in common is more important than where we disagree.

Effective leaders know what they believe. They are able to express their beliefs while giving others the freedom to disagree. But they do this in a way that moves the mission forward. Jesus, God in the flesh, shows us how we can do this.

Questions for Reflection:

Where can you start a conversation with someone who believes differently from you?

What common ground can you find?

How can this make you a better leader?

The Rev. Jack Shitama serves as executive director of Pecometh Camp & Retreat Ministries in Maryland.  This post is republished with permission from Jack Shitama's Blog for Christian Leaders.