“Worth Fighting For”: Research Findings on Affirming United Methodists’ Decision to Stay or Leave

by

See a second study on this general topic conducted by Baylor University scholars.

A recent survey of LGBTQ+-affirming United Methodists provides a glimpse into the decisions being made by lay members and clergy as they navigate the controversy within the denomination over inclusion of LGBTQ+ individuals. 

Methodology

Conducted by sociologists affiliated with Georgia Southern University and Valdosta State University in collaboration with Reconciling Ministries Network, this research surveyed U.S.-based current and former United Methodists who support the inclusion of LGBTQ+ individuals in the church. Researchers asked participants why they stay in a denomination that has been hostile to the LGBTQ+ community, whether they have considered leaving the denomination, and, for those who had already made the decision to leave: whether they would consider returning to The UMC. 

The survey generated over 1,400 responses in just a few weeks’ time, with most responses gathered in late January and early February 2022. All survey responses were collected prior to the announcement that General Conference 2020 would be further postponed. Among the 1,275 individuals who completed all parts of the survey, every U.S. annual conference was represented.

Eager to share experiences

This enthusiastic response indicated just how eager many United Methodists are to have their voices heard. While the survey’s open-ended questions asked about respondents’ decision-making when it came to UMC membership, participants also seized the opportunity to share their frustration and despair over the church’s exclusionary policies, as well as to voice their optimism and hope for the future. Among the hundreds of responses:

I have been acquainted with individuals who have suffered greatly under the current UMC rules – and this has instructed, pained, and angered me. (Laity, Iowa). 

I have watched The UMC destroy lives over this. No more. (Laity, Western Pennsylvania). 

I am confident this is the way of the future Church. God’s inclusive love is the love this world so desperately needs. (Clergy, North Carolina) 

I am deeply, deeply grateful for those who have the stamina to stay and keep working for full inclusion. (Former member, North Carolina)

Reflecting demographics of the U.S. Church, survey participants identified as mostly white (95%) and older (while respondents’ ages ranged from 18 to 97, the median age was 65). Approximately twice as many self-identified women responded as self-identified men. One-quarter of the respondents claimed membership in the LGBTQ+ community, with three-quarters identifying as heterosexual and 96% identifying as cisgender (indicating that their gender identity corresponds with sex assigned at birth). While more than half of the respondents indicated that their local congregation was fully inclusive and affirming, more than one-third described their home church as either centrist (with a mixture of inclusive and non-inclusive members) or mostly non-inclusive. Nearly 70% of respondents identify as lay members in The UMC, while 13% are active clergy and 9% are retired clergy; 7% are former congregants who no longer attend or affiliate with The UMC (just under 2% did not specify their relationship to The UMC). 

Further data analysis will offer a deeper examination of the results, but this first peek at survey results reveals the diversity of experiences as well as the common answers that were given in response to the open-ended survey questions.

“Why are you staying in The UMC?”

Many respondents note that they remain United Methodist because of family tradition and a personal sense of belonging. As these responses illustrate, they also appreciate all the good that The UMC has done, and they hold out hope for a future Church that embraces inclusivity:

I am a cradle Methodist and have seen the possibilities for good in the world that is done by disciples affirmed and nurtured in The UMC. And I still have hope we can be a place for everyone to be nurtured and affirmed. (Laity, Florida)

I found God & Christ in The UMC. I am not ready to leave now. I believe The UMC does much good work. (Retired clergy, Minnesota)

I stay so long as there is hope. My devotion to The UMC does not outweigh my conviction that queer Christians deserve a fully affirming church home. (Laity, California-Pacific)

Theological beliefs provide a foundation for remaining in The UMC, as indicated by these respondents who point to both specific doctrine as well as a tradition that embraces differing beliefs:

I believe in Wesleyan Doctrine and our concept of grace. I like that there is room for personal beliefs that may or may not differ. (Clergy, Baltimore-Washington)

I believe that one of the basic theological beliefs that John Wesley preached was that God's grace was available to all persons and I still hope and believe that The United Methodist Church can continue to live out that belief and include all persons who love God and neighbor and want to be a part of our church. (Retired clergy, New England)

Wesley's theology is deeply ingrained in me. The personal piety and the social justice emphases are important to me. I appreciate the diversity of theology in the churches where I have belonged over the years. Whenever I moved, I sought a United Methodist Church and have found them to challenge my faith and support me personally. Engagement in the broader church - conference, general conference - have been meaningful to me also. (Laity, West Ohio)

Still other respondents stay in The UMC out of loyalty to queer family members and friends. For many, there is a calling to work for change within the Church. 

Because my daughter who is a gay clergy stays, I stay. (Laity, Illinois Great Rivers)

There will always be queer kids and they need people who are willing to fight for them. (Clergy, North Georgia)

It is the avenue through which I can best make an impact for peace and justice causes in both church and larger society. (Retired clergy, Western North Carolina)

Sometimes it's hard to fathom the disconnect between my beliefs, my local church's and conference's beliefs, and the official written policy in the Book of Discipline. But I remind myself that change requires people working from within the system, and I have privileges that I can use for that purpose. (Laity, California-Nevada)

“Have you considered leaving The UMC?”

For some inclusive-minded United Methodists, there was a simple answer to this question – no, they have not contemplated leaving, they will always be part of The UMC. A few explain that they have not considered leaving because they believe that The UMC will become an inclusive church in the future.

I have not considered leaving. God is not done with us yet. (Retired clergy, Michigan)

I have occasionally thought of leaving the church, but not seriously because I know and believe that full inclusion will come. I'm not leaving. (Laity, Upper New York)

Even as the majority of respondents indicate that they plan to remain in The UMC, most concede that they have considered the possibility of leaving. Many have concluded that it is more important to stay and work for change. Even so, they struggle with this decision.

I have considered leaving, particularly after the 2019 General Conference. I don’t know how I will feel going forward. When I think of leaving, I stop myself and say that’s your privilege speaking, suck it up and keep up the fight. As the mom of an adult member of the LGBTQIA+ community I sometimes feel like a hypocrite. How can I both love and fully support and celebrate my kid and stay and support a church that not only rejects full acceptance of them but perpetually harms good people? (Laity, Western North Carolina)

Yes, I have - and still struggle - but my church is worth fighting for. I live and serve in a Conference that affirms LGBTQ+ persons. If I was in another Conference it would be harder to stay. I pray that I live long enough for my church to return to affirm all persons. I do believe God has a plan, but right now it is hard to see it. If I was younger I might be looking for another denomination. My heart breaks for my church and its people. (Retired clergy, Greater New Jersey)

For this family, the question of whether to remain in The UMC is a matter of integrity and concern for the message that they are giving their child:

Yes, my husband and I both have [considered leaving] and continue to discuss. We have a twelve-year-old who is asking why we belong to a faith that discriminates. We can't belong to a church that does. (Laity, Minnesota)

Many have identified a clear line, stating that they will leave The UMC if their local congregation or their conference were to join the WCA, or if full inclusion were to become impossible.

I am a fifth-generation UM clergy. It's in my blood! But I would leave the denomination if the Conference were to go to Wesleyan Covenant. (Retired clergy, East Ohio)

If my local church chooses to join the WCA group I will leave. I hope my church will remain in The UMC and I hope at that time The UMC will change the Discipline to eliminate the discriminatory language. (Laity, Central Texas)

I am stubborn and plan to stick with The UMC as long as there is a chance for change. If full inclusion becomes impossible, I would leave. (Laity, New Mexico)

“Have you already left The UMC?”

Of the 1,225 respondents who completed the survey, only 91 (approximately 7%) indicated that they had already left the denomination. Some left for reasons not related to LGBTQ+ inclusion, such as relocation, but most indicated that the controversy played a role in their decision to leave The UMC. A few belonged to progressive congregations that voted to leave the denomination, but most indicated that they had made an individual decision to leave their local church. Not surprisingly, even though only one-quarter of all survey respondents identified as LGBTQ+, more than 40% of those who have already left the church identified as gay, lesbian, or queer. The following responses illustrate the various ways that they explained their decision to leave the church:

Local church was admittedly non-affirming to LGBTQ+. "Welcoming" (ha) but not affirming or willing LGBTQ+ work, serve, volunteer, etc. Our son is in a same-sex relationship. Our church's belief was that he should remain alone the rest of his life. (Former member, Florida)

Racism, and I couldn’t listen to one more person talk about LGBTQ persons as sinners. (Clergy spouse, Texas)

Thoroughly disgusted with the politics and refusal to move ahead. Left after the called special general conference of February 2019. Do not believe this is what Jesus had in mind. (Former member, New York)

We had a leadership crisis in my local church. The weight of that crisis combined with the ongoing global rejection of full inclusion prompted us to leave. (Former member, Eastern Pennsylvania)

My local church disaffiliated with The UMC for the UCC. (Former member, Texas)

While I have not officially left, I stopped attending church about 2 years ago due to a combination of COVID disrupting my routine and a growing feeling of disconnectedness between myself and the church, due mainly to my discomfort with both The UMC and my own congregation’s handling of LGBT issues. This discomfort opened the door for me to begin to question religion as a whole, and the combination of these factors led to me no longer attending church. (Former member, North Georgia)

Would you consider returning? 

Some who have left The UMC have found new homes in inclusive and affirming denominations and they are unlikely to return.

I have been a member of a local Presbyterian (PCUSA) church since 1982. The UMC has waffled for so long on the issue of LGBT inclusion that I don't feel it's a safe place because so much now rests on the local pastor and the congregation. Ironically, the church I formerly attended has a very loving and inclusive new pastor but attitudes from some members are very clear that all are not welcomed. (Former member, Upper New York)

Not sure. I am content attending the Presbyterian church. (Former member, North Georgia) 

Even as these respondents suggest that their returning to Methodism is unlikely, the fact that they responded to the survey indicates that they continue to engage with what is happening in The UMC and that they hold out hope for a newly inclusive Methodist church to emerge. Fully letting go is difficult, and many continue to hold onto their connection with the church, no matter how tenuous. 

We’ve moved on. I can’t imagine going back. Yet… here I am, still following RMN, reading UM News, taking this survey, etc. With Covid and congregations online, my go-to worship home has been Adam Hamilton’s Church of the Resurrection. (Former member, Rio Texas)

At the same time, most of these individuals make clear that LGBTQ+ inclusion and affirmation is a necessary precondition for their return. When asked if anything would persuade them to return, they answer:

Removal of anti-inclusive policies in the Book of Discipline; full support of welcome and inclusion of all. (Former member, Oregon-Idaho)

Full inclusion for LGBTQ. (Former member, Wisconsin)

If it unanimously decides to include ALL. If not, we do not want to be associated with it. (Former member, Baltimore-Washington)

Full acceptance of LGBT people-allowing them to be members, clergy, performing weddings, etc. would pretty much be a requirement for me to even begin to consider returning. (Former member, North Georgia)

Of all the responses, perhaps this speaks most plainly to the desire for an inclusive, affirming UMC:

I miss the church. There is no question that I would jump right back in if I could find a non-abusive corner. (Former member, Northern Illinois)

This article is republished with permission from the Reconciling Ministries Network website.

About the Researchers

Dr. Nancy Malcom (she/her) is a sociologist at Georgia Southern University whose research and teaching focuses on gender, childhood, and sports.  Recent publications include “From William’s Doll to Jacob’s New Dress: The Depiction of Gender Non-Conforming Boys in Children’s Books from 1972 to 2014” (Journal of Homosexuality, 2018) and “Negotiating the Funhouse: CrossFit Women and the Looking Glass Athlete” (Women in Sport and Physical Activity Journal, 2021). 

Dr. A.J. Ramirez (she/her) teaches Sociology and Women’s & Gender Studies at Valdosta State University. Her academic interests include sexism, gender discrimination, racism, LGBTQ issues, and education reform by incorporating systemic approaches. She teaches Race, Class, & Gender, Introduction to Social Problems, Global Feminism, Queer Theory, Feminist Theory, and LGBT Studies. Dr. Ramirez also practices as a Professional Counselor in Valdosta, Georgia.