Being a Pastor in the United Methodist Church Sucks Right Now

April 10, 2018

3:25 PM

From Fig Tree Revolution: This is a piece by a local pastor in the United Methodist Church who is experiencing anger and burnout. This piece is honest and raw, so be forewarned. But if you like honesty, then continue to read on.

Photo Courtesy of R.L. Bryant

Despair

Being a pastor in the United Methodist Church sucks right now. And if you are reading this and the word ‘sucks’ bothers you, quit reading. It isn’t going to get better and you aren’t worthy of the point I’m going to make.

I love Jesus and think his life matters; no, not his enshrinement on the damn gilded cross, but his actual life and teaching. He called out the powers of insecurity and jealousy and greed. In seminary we call that something more theologically robust with an air of superior education. It gives us pastors the authority to stand on a pretty box on Sundays and tell people what’s what. And truthfully, the insights and wisdom from Jesus is worth standing on a very pretty box and proclaiming loudly! But here’s the thing… the folks who do the box talk have become (maybe always were) a team of coffee-worshiping, precious assholes.

I just finished leading my congregation in celebrating Lent and Easter. For the progressive pastor Easter is a bit of a challenge with that ‘did he or didn’t he’ get bodily-resurrected crap. Let’s just say he did and move on, ok? God’s God and you and I aren’t going to bang this one out and come to a verifiable scientific answer. Let it go! Even with this tiresome controversy, Lent is what my congregation needs more than anything. They need a season focused personal reflection and repentance. Because, we are a people who’ve fucked things up and fallen short of doing good most days. I need the season of Lent because the darkside of my soul has gotten pretty cranky and mean and I need to be getting back to the heart of God.

So, I preached my heart out during Lent and had a few of my best sermons. At the same time, I’m leading my congregation through a visioning process to do more focused and pro-active community ministry and discipleship. I added 6 extra home meetings with general congregation members and 4 extra leadership groups during the weeks leading up to Lent and during Lent itself! What a fuck-ton of work that has been. I did it because I believe in God and see the Holy Spirit at work in my community. I did it because the iconoclastic befoulment from the last national election demands that the faith community get it together!

The ‘blessed’ community needs God’s Holy Church! The world needs the Christian family to quit humping frogs and get reacquainted with the Prince of Peace! The on-going argument about whether LGBTQ folks are worthy and welcome by God has gone off the rails and is landing the UMC in the ditch of irrelevance. I’m grateful the Great Bishops of the denomination have invested so much time in trying to do some relationship building and bridge building and prayer time. I’m grateful we have a democratic organization that welcomes the opinions of everyone no matter how stupid or contrary to the Gospel message they are. Really, I am.

But look… I’m working my fat ass off doing visioning, leadership development, Discipleship planning, mentoring young adults and youth, engaging with my clergy colleagues and staying current with the latest greatest best-practices for ministry. I visit my homebound, shut in, grief stricken members who sometimes resent me and see the sky falling. I’m absolutely exhausted and this Easter… I was so frustrated with the Church and my place in it, I just kept praying for God’s forgiveness and to be present in each moment. Being a pastor in the UMC sucks right now! And local church pastors seem to get all the blame for the receding Church. Seriously… what the hell!?!?! And if you send me another fricking form to fill out before Annual Conference, I just might gnaw my own hand off.

I watch my colleagues with interest, some of who are snowflakes and some of who are kick-ass faith rock stars! I take joy in their joy and the pray for their leadership burdens. I can’t believe the ones who gripe and complain about their DS and Bishop and their congregations as if it were their hobby. I’m tired of the clergy who take for granted the privilege of being a stand-in for Jesus to the wounded and broken. I am tired of the clergy who show up late and leave early or make up dumb excuses for not participating in the work we do together. And I’m especially tired of the ridiculous argument about gay people… and I’m calling out both liberals and conservatives here! You are all being assholes!

Anyone… guns… epidemic of violence… homelessness… prescription drug addicts… public education and educators getting screwed for lunch…. The rich running away with the lunch money of the poor and moms trying to get decent healthcare for their children…. And men… good men awash in guilt and grief and left behind to pick up the pieces. Good men and good women trying to put life back on track for themselves and their families while the church fights a civil war over the place and worth of gay people!

Being a pastor in the UMC sucks right now. My coffee-worshiping self is exhausted and yearns for some light in the darkness of our UMC. I’m clearly in the legion of assholes and I’m ready to throw mud balls at any whiny ass person who can’t be respectful or play nice. Seriously… what the hell is going on with you dumb upper leadership types??? Do you remember us broken pastors in need of redemption and grace…. Who are just trying to live and teach the Jesus-way? Do you remember the call to share the Jesus story about how God loves bigly?!

Can anyone hear me?

The identity of this writer is kept confidential to permit to express himself honestly. This post is republished with permission from the blog Fig Tree Revolution.

Comments (18)

Comment Feed

The same in 2024

It's 2024 and this hits home. The UMC needs to get over itself. Even after all the disafiliations, still obsessed with itineracy. Why? The world is so connected now more than ever.

An Elder sharing honest thoughts on how to move our churches forward, told I'm inappropriate.

Churches can't afford full time Elders, yet just have faith and engage the community. Really! It's that simple? Our churches should be thriving then.

I never thought it'd come yo this, but my bitterness is to the point I can't continue. I'll be entering extension ministry or giving up my orders in the next year. Heartbroken as the UMC was the church there for more at my most difficult time.

David Hull-Frye 217 days ago

Nope, nobody is listening

Dear Pastor Truth-Teller,
I'm reading this in 2020 after the general election but I understand the context of your writing. No, clearly no one is listening. Exactly as you describe, your audience is quibbling about "fuck" and "gay" and "resurrection" instead of hearing your plea for a direction toward mercy and justice and inclusiveness. No, the church isn't going to hell because of gay people (if so, somebody's God is too small). Life in the UMC hasn't quite gotten better yet, as a matter of fact it got democratically even more hurtful. What's the point? The point is to meet people where they are and enfold them in the love that God has for each one. Not to drag them over some finish line of doctrine. Too many in our churches are attending (even through Zoom, nowadays) in order to get a weekly dose of "Good Job!" saith the Lord rather than a dose of "Go tell more people how much I love them!"
By this date, two years or more after the original post, I hope someone has heard you, encouraged you, re-energized you, and shown you the fruit of your labor. It still sucks, but I thin you're on the right track.

A Perrone more than 3 years ago

Pastor Snowflake

Thank you for your candor in identifying a major weakness in the UMC and calling out its leaders on it. Unlike others, I refuse to shoot the messenger by diverting attention away from the issues by focusing on language selection. That is neither here nor there given the scope of the UMC's habit of avoiding the real issues. I am a former UMC elder having left the denomination 14 years ago. I got tired of playing the game and living as the congregation's and cabinet's whipping boy. Here's hoping you can find resolution and peace in the midst of the storm. I was not convinced I ever would. It took getting out for me to find it again.

Mark Riley (1992-2005) more than 5 years ago

Jesus

Unfortunately the problem withe the church is that Jesus has left the building,as He was requested to do so by the liberal theology being passed off as great learning. If the members read the word of God and asked for the holy spirit's guidance to understand and walk with Christ in his presence defying the world and it's advanced learning then maybe the Church could get out of the ditch it has run into. Maybe then the joy would return to those serving. God bless and help each one of us.

Bob Edwards more than 5 years ago

Jumping into the hot water

I am beginning the process of answering a call to ministry taking the Licensed Local Pastor route. Snowflake is frustrated with good reason. The language is not off putting (although not my style) nor the doubts about resurrection. I feel sorrow that he is she is suffering from burnout. Having just retired from teaching high school—I know it’s real. Let’s pray that a renewed energy becomes available to this wounded follower. We still preach grace don’t we?

Bob Helvey more than 5 years ago

Dear Pastor Snowflake

The reason churches are dying losing members might gas something to do with the attitude of the leaders on this reply ...lost of empathy for the suffering which is What Would Jesus Not Do. I am a graduate of Seminary formerly from another denomination in which I supplied pastor for many churches to give pastors a break an opportunity to express my gift of encouragement. I have seen the difficult challenges to clergy. I also see self righteous leaders and parishioners all are under Grace including you and me. However do not be afraid to search for another institution to express your calling Jesus ordained the Body of Christ which surpasses the local church. I pray the Church continues to flourish but that we stop devouring pastors during crisis moments. I pray the Lord continue to be with you in whatever path you pursue

CHAN8ALEX28 more than 5 years ago

Pastor

Wow with your attitude and foul language you should just leave the church!!

DJ more than 6 years ago

Pharisee

That's it: focus on your judgment so you don't have to address the real issues at hand.

Mark Riley more than 5 years ago

Leave?

I understand this person's pain and anguish and my heart goes out to them with compassion and tears in my eyes as I believe Christ would want. And I am now livid with a present Methodist pator who harasses and denigrates women but that doesnt eclipse my sympathy for this pastor here. Their pain is what gets my attention, not a few curse words. Where is your heart at with that cold response?

cj more than 2 years ago

Construction

Profanity is an attention getter as George Patton knew. I have heard my fair share in the construction world as well. Though sometimes useful in art to illustrate a juxtaposition or irony, I think a pastor ought to refrain from using it except maybe to be "one of the guys" while panning for gold in Alaska or on a hunting or fishing trip. Sometimes profanity can be used to help relate culturally. In the pulpit or in the capacity as a professional clergyman (or woman), it is in poor taste and sometimes the message attempted can get lost in the very language that is being used as an attention getter. If being a pastor in the UMC sucks, Jesus' occupation was carpentry so you might grab a skillsaw, a pickup truck, a tin of snuff and try construction instead.

E more than 6 years ago

"Squirrel"

That's it: focus on an expose' of language so you don't have to address the real issues at hand. The Church will never change...too much judgment, not enough listening, no courage to initiate real change.

Mark Riley more than 5 years ago

Dear Pastor Snowflake

While some may be appalled at your language, I am not. I, too, sometimes revert to cussing when I'm a bit lazy and am unable to express myself more fluently. So your language doesn't really bother me. What does bother me is how anyone can get themselves ordained as a Methodist pastor and have ambiguous feelings about the truth of Jesus' resurrection and its redemptive, restorative effect on the people called Christian. If the Resurrection is not true, then the whole faith is but a house of cards. Yes, Jesus would have still been a wise kindly human philosopher whose lessons teach us how people should treat their fellow mankind, but history is filled with such wise philosophers. Why worship one over another? Why accept Jesus as part of our understanding of the Triune God if he's just a man who died a cruel death and left in a crypt? If He didn't rise from the dead on Easter, what hope do we have for our resurrection and the opportunity to be in communion with God for eternity? I don't know you and certainly can't judge you, but perhaps your anger is directed inward due to your loss of faith. I will pray that you come to a better understanding of who you are and your role as an ordained minister of Christianity. People who doubt the truth of Jesus' bodily resurrection may be good people or kind people but just don't call yourself Christian.

John more than 6 years ago

Well-stated response

I agree. When pastors and Bishops deny the core tenets of the Christian faith, I find that far more appalling and deserving of outrage than the secondary arguments over sexuality that we are having today. If the Methodist church had stood up and opposed radical theological liberalism wherever it raised its head, recognizing it as the simple garden variety unbelief that it is, we would not be having these arguments and wars over sexuality. Error begets error, and we now find ourselves in a denomination where the majority of our seminaries, pastors, Bishops, and agencies no longer conform to the criteria of Christian faith as defined and practiced by John Wesley and the early Methodists. Even today, why is there far greater outrage over the election of a lesbian Bishop, when the far greater outcry should have been over the fact that every one of the episcopal candidates in that particular conference held apostate theological views. Is an apostate lesbian Bishop really any worse than any other apostate Bishop? We, as a church, need to get our priorities straight.

Paul W. more than 6 years ago

The end

The UMC is euphemistically rearranging the decks chairs on the Titanic. Like every other denomination that has embraced homosexuality, the UMC and its way forward will be the beginning of the end of the UMC. No church that denies Biblical truth and authority ever prospers.

Lizzie Warren more than 6 years ago

Truth

So very true!

Dj more than 6 years ago

Exegesis Anyone?

Have you or anyone else in the UMC completed a serious exegetical study, including all forms of biblical criticism, of the scriptures typically used to condemn homosexuality?

Mark Riley more than 5 years ago

The End

My former employer had a beautiful Ford F-35o Diesel Truck that could pull the heaviest trailers up the steepest hills. One day a temp employee filled it up with gasoline, and that destroyed the motor. After a $10,000 engine rebuild the truck would start and run, but never had the original power. It was a beautiful truck on the outside, but was now weak and useless. As a former employee (not a member) of a UMC Church, what was obvious to me, a person that served, but was not of this tradition, saw that those who tried to change the Apostate path of the UMC would leave in frustration and exhaustion. If a person takes off his shoes and kicks a Cholla cactus, the cactus feels no pain, and the foot of the kicker is ruined.
There are still a few churches (not many) that have not gone over to the dark side, so in my humble opinion, I see no point in staying on a path that is broad and leads to destruction.

Reed Robinson more than 2 years ago

Biblical truth

If you have ever been married, or are married, or condone marriage.... you did not obey the Biblical truth that Paul clearly called us not to marry unless someone couldn't control themselves (is that rape?). Jesus wasn't married and Mary was only bethrothed when the Holy Spirit came upon her. People who use Paul's negative words about "homosexuality" so often ignore his words about marriage.

Action Jackson more than 2 years ago