I was visiting with a friend of mine the other week and he used the words "accomplishment" and "successful" interchangeably. He wanted to be more successful in life so that he could provide for his family. This struck me as notable because my friend is in his mid 30s and is already making decent money. He is more than providing for his family.
This exchange reminded me that success is always for another person, an other. You can be the richest person in the world and still not feel successful, because there is another’s approval you are seeking. And it is not until that “other” sees you as successful that you feel successful. My friend did not feel successful (even though by all standards he is) because he is trying to prove he is successful to an other. We spent the rest of the time exploring who the “other” person is.
If success is for an other, then accomplishment is for your self. When we brag about our accomplishments, we really are in the realm of seeking the approving eye of the “other.” Put simply, talking about our accomplishments means we are seeking success.
Jim Carrey
Jesus talks about two types of prayer. The one who prays on the street corner and the one who prays in the private room with the door closed. Jesus casts shade on the one who prays in the public square (for they have received their reward Jesus says). Jesus instructs us to pray in private with the door closed and the work of prayer will be accomplished. Accomplished prayer is not for an “other” who is always disappointed in how often or the depth of your prayers. If we feel that we are not good enough or not comfortable praying, we may be seeking the approval of an other. We may be seeking success.
Let me be clear, many of us are motivated to be successful, but we must be aware to whom the success is directed. While success is done for someone, accomplishment is done on behalf of someone. And this is the intersection of compassion and achievement. When we accomplish something we do so on behalf of another.
My friend wants to be successful to provide for his kids, but what he was describing was a desire to provide things for his kids that they could not do for themselves. His kids are too little to get a paycheck and “produce” things for the world. He works and meets goals in his work on behalf of his kids - this is what motivates him to work hard. His compassion and love for his kids drive him forward to accomplish goals.
God is not very successful, but God is very accomplished. There is no “other” that God is working to impress or woo over. God is able to rest at on the seventh day because of all that was accomplished, those seeking success shun rest or see it as a way to be more productive. Jesus said on the cross “it is finished”, which is something you only say when you accomplish something. Those are seek success are never content with being finished.
Valendy Thumb
Rev. Jason Valendy
The Rev. Jason Valendy, along with his wife the Rev. Estee Valendy, serves as co-pastor of Saginaw United Methodist Church in Saginaw, Texas. This post is republished with permission from the author's blog JasonValendy.net.