Bullying and Humanity at General Conference

April 27, 2012

12:59 PM

UMNS Photo by Mike DuBose

Feeling Bullied

Mark Miller stands at the microphone, surrounded by supporters, to protest the church's lack of inclusiveness in its process of Holy Conversation April 26.

First off, I’m aware that I didn’t witness what happened. Mark Miller, one of the UMC General Conference worship leaders who is gay, stood up and gave an emotional speech about a climate of bullying that he saw taking place in the legislative sub-committee conversations about homosexuality. He was ruled out of order when he asked other delegates to stand with him by a bishop who then prayed for the situation. Not being privy to what did or didn’t take place, I can only say that I hope humanity wins over ideology at General Conference. I’m not even talking about the decisions are ultimately made, but the dignity with which the delegates treat one another as fellow members of the body of Christ, rather than ideological adversaries in the only politically and theologically diverse denomination left in our country.

Let me confess that I got ruined on the issue of homosexuality a long time ago when my best friend in high school came out to me. I was even more ruined when I went to my first Methodist church in Toledo, Ohio, and most of the people worshiping there were gay. My convictions were eroded by the seriousness and passion with which they pursued spiritual growth and holiness. Perhaps some would consider it oxymoronic for me to say this, but I remember thinking that my gay Christian friends were actually quite conservative. Or at least they were way more disciplined about their spiritual walks than I was. And they were some of the most gentle, attentively compassionate people I’ve ever met. I was in a very dark place in my own life, and they nurtured me. So I have to admit when I read Romans 1, Leviticus 18, 1 Corinthians 6, etc, I’m probably too quick to explain these tough passages based on their historical context so that they don’t condemn people who really were Christ to me regardless of whether their sexuality is sinful or not.

Having said this, I’ve also been in environments in the radical activist culture I used to be a part of where the form of bullying that I experienced was to be labeled a bully for the identity I was born with as a Christian white straight middle-upper class male (which makes me 5 for 5 as an oppressor). I embraced my demonization for a while because it was compatible with the self-hate I learned from fundamentalist Christianity. And truly I learned a lot of healthy, useful things about my privilege, but I got tired of the world of identity politics where people ranted all day about how terrible Christian white straight middle-upper class males like me were and offering deterministic sociological explanations for everything I might decide to do as a 5-star oppressor (see the movie “Blue Like Jazz” for a good illustration of my story). In any case, I don’t think it would be entirely outrageous for some General Conference delegates to feel bullied for being accused of bullying because of their moral convictions about homosexuality which may not have caused them to treat anyone without grace and dignity (even if this is completely not what Mark Miller intended to convey). Isn’t it also bullying for people to be publicly shamed into abandoning their convictions?

It hurts to be called an abomination. It also hurts to feel like you can’t believe someone else is doing something wrong without being called a bully. Satan wins if the ideological argument becomes all-consuming, i.e. if everything the “other side” does is interpreted ideologically as the “gay” or “anti-gay agenda.” I doubt that Mark Miller was trying to be manipulative, though I imagine it seems that way to any delegates who felt like he unfairly judged and falsely accused them by “playing the bullying card.” Whichever way the voting goes, our General Conference will have failed Jesus if neither side is willing to embrace the humanity of the other.

I honestly think that the underlying purpose of all Christian morality is to live with such holiness that we can see and honor each other’s humanity, which is to say on the deepest level that we become icons that reflect the image of God back and forth to one another. I take absolutely seriously everything that is written in the Bible because I long to learn the holiness and obedience to God’s will that will allow me to be perfectly hospitable to my neighbor. The more that I study, the less confidence I have in my own convictions and the more speechless awe I feel before the beauty of God.

I’ve got my own views about what’s going on with Leviticus 17, Romans 1, and 1 Corinthians 6. I pray often for God to reveal to me why I’m wrong about this issue if I’m wrong. In the meantime, I submit to the Discipline as a United Methodist pastor and hope to treat all people gay and straight with perfect hospitality and dignity as fellow icons of God’s image.

Comments (4)

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Bullying

There is a failure to understand that is mine when I read the comments about bullying. My non-understanding is expressed in these questions: As we protested aainst racial segregation, were we bullying those for him segregation was a conviction? Were the 8 white pastors in Birmingham who took out an ad urging Martin Luther King to "get out of Birmingham"
because he "stirred up the locals" responding to Martin KIng because they viewed him as the bully? Or, were they the bullies because they wanted no change, or gradual change in the policies and practices of segregation, and were justified in seeking to "bully" him out of town?

My fear is that we have no sense of history and thus no understanding of what it has taken to achieve justice. It appears that today there are a multitude of persons who would have been against the independence struggle that created the USA, the Protestant Reformation that made possible Protestantism, the emergence of the Methodist Movement that became the Methodist Church, the challenges of racism and sexism that were essential to the achievement of equality for blacks and for women, the efforts that made possible the eventual ordination of women. etc.
Those actions and challenges, represented bullying?

I am reminded of these words; "Some want crops without plowing up the land, the mighty ocean without the roar of the waves, and rain without the lightening and the thunder. If there is no struggle, there is no progress."
(Remembered less-than-perfectly)

All of us, as difficult as it may be, must remember the struggles of others that made possible the life we enjoy today. I agree, that those seeking justice for themselves and others, must not demean, de-humanize or bully those who disagree with them. We cannot "Use the tools of those who
oppress and discriminate, if we want to tear down and re-build the house in which they hold their prejudices." (A paraphrase)

The nonviolence of the Civil Rights Movement represented not only personal discipline and commitment, it was a way of respecing the humanity of those whose bigotry we challenged.

I have been tuned into the live streaming of General Conference and googling the websites of the various caucuses. I am fearful that after presenting the best of United Methodist ministry and mission on Sunday night, the delegates will again express the less-than-best of our denomination by again approving the legislation of 1972.

There seems not to be the understanding that each and every day we
retain the 1972 language and legislation, we are "bullying" Mark Miller
and all of the gay and lesbian United Metodists among us. And, just like
the past when the Methodist/United Methodist Church held sexist and racist views, we are a 24/7 heteosexist denomination today. Biblical
interpretation that supports any ism, diminishes the power of Scripture.

"The more things change, the more they remain the same"

Gil Caldwell, Asbury Park, NJ

Gil Caldwell more than 12 years ago

Bullied

I felt bullied by having to walk through the gauntlet of the silent demo the same night.

Bob more than 12 years ago

Bullying

Unlike the blogger, I attended all the Church and Society committee and sub-committee sessions as an observer. Mark Miller was not personally attacked or bullied about anything, unless people sharing their traditional understanding of Scripture amounts to bullying. (But he may have been referring to other people's experiences instead of himself in his plenary floor statement.) The ONLY person disrespected in the C&S subcommittee was Rev. Eddie Fox, an evangelical. He was symbolically "dissed" by a half dozen of the rainbow-clad observers. Their negative spirit was in direct contrast to the holy conversation that actually did occur in the group.

Karen Booth more than 12 years ago

Bullying Mark Miller

What really happened? The bishop that appears to have moderated the session where the alleged bullying took place is my bishop. I know in many instances "bullying" is a code word for "It's not fair to enforce the rules." I know that one side makes it a habit to demonstrate and try to get arrested on the floor of the conference. Isn't that bullying against the ones who follow the rules. I know one side always accuses the other of hate speech and then turns around and names their proposal after the abortion pill, Plan B, with the intention of offending the others. Tell us what really happened so we can see if there really is an apology due or if this is more of the same fluidity of language so common to the arguments of one side.

Bob more than 12 years ago