An Open Letter to the United Methodist Church

From a Visually Impaired Half-Filipino Clergywoman Who Loves You



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my parents divoreced when I was 14

Although it was a hard thing, ultimately I can say that my life got better because an inordinate amount of daily conflict went out of my life. The bottom line is my parents were too different and came from totally different perspectives to be able to make it. The same is true of the United Methodist Church. The conflict is not going to go away because everybody is convinced they are doing the "right thing". Personally, although overall the church has been a positive presence in my life, it fell way short when it came to bringing me to a full understanding of who God is and who I am in relation and what it meant to be a Christian of the Methodist persuasion because the church no longer has a single idea as to what that means. I had to go out on my own to find answers. And I truly wish that I had received clearer and more consistent teaching a long time ago because it has helped me to make sense of my broken life and then live beyond that broken life. I do not need anymore conflict and confusion in my life and that is exactly what the UMC has to offer right now.

betsy more than 2 years ago


Some relationships can't be saved. Abusive ones in particular. That time has come. Better to separate than to continue the disobedience and bickering. What we have now is unhealthy.
This author seems more concerned about her income than anything else. That theme is starting to be heard among more Progressives. They want the Traditionalists money but not their witness. Doesn't work that way.

Kevin more than 2 years ago


Sadly, Kevin, I have to agree with you.

Eriberto Soto more than 2 years ago

Do they only teach “love” in seminaries now, nothing about rules, commandments, morality and such?

I’m sorry for your divorce experience. I’m sure I cannot fully relate because my parents made it to 54 years and my wife and I are at 41 (and she is from Massachusetts, so, as a Texan, I get EXTRA credit for that! – sort of like “dog years”).
But, I have certainly known, too closely, of divorces which are actually the best alternative for all involved – no matter how much that moment hurts the innocent. In the case of the UMC, when a family argues over the same thing for 50 (fifty) years, it is time to split the alter! Enough is enough!
Secondly, your heart-felt questions left out we the traditionals. We have been guided by the teachings of our parents, former clergy, Sunday school teachers, teachers, coaches, military, and general cultural mores. We are now told that we are wrong, which says THEY were wrong. Many of us are not accepting that. I am among those who deeply resent it. I am among those who do not want my name or church or contributions associated with homosexuality. So, where is your question about we of the moral code of our culture and times? You don’t care. Liberals don’t care about our feelings!
Yes, divorce is bad and it hurts. But, I submit to you, there is no reconciliation possible here. There is no common ground, except for our Faith and we can better grow that without the distractions of this moment and debate. I will celebrate the freedom from the unending upheaval and wish you progressives a happy and soul-winning future.

Reese more than 2 years ago

Notable Quotes

“The present proposed divorce in the UMC is not about sexual morality or justice and inclusion. It is about who is in charge. The 2019 Special Called General Conference gave the ‘traditionalists’ everything they wanted regarding gay weddings and ordinations. But they are still leaving. ... Splitting the church is never about anything but who holds authority.”

– C. Don Jones, “Forgiveness and The Future Schism (Part 1)” from his blog "Glorious Life" on

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