A Slender Thread of Hope

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Can you love someone who did “bad things?”

Comedian Sarah Silverman posed this question recently in response to revelations that her longtime friend and fellow comic, Louis CK, admitted to masturbating on several occasions in front of various women. Ms. Silverman doesn’t know it, but her question aptly describes the heart of the conflict that’s tearing apart The United Methodist Church.

Can you love someone who did “bad things?”

The question presupposes that we’re agreed on what constitutes a “bad thing.” And that’s the crux of our conflict: unlike clearly defined sexual misconduct, we don’t agree on whether being romantically attracted to a person of the same sex constitutes a “bad thing.” The conflict’s complexity can be found in the original language of the United Methodist stance regarding sexual behavior. The stance condemns “homosexual practice,” which fails to encompass the range of human sexuality that’s been discovered by science since the church first adopted its language in 1972.

It’s ironic that the latest allegations of sexual misconduct by prominent men, from Kevin Spacey to Louis CK to Roy Moore to Al Franken, occurred at the same time various unofficial groups of United Methodists met to discuss whether the global denomination can avoid breaking up over issues of human sexuality. A video featuring three leaders' views, shown at the opening of the Uniting Methodists conference in Atlanta, outlines the conflict’s scope. The video makes clear that we’re at this point of potential schism because we’ve failed in the essential calling of all who claim to follow Jesus, the Christ:

Can you love someone who does “bad things?”

For those who staunchly defend the status quo, the prohibition against non-heterosexual love embodies biblical holiness, the opposite of a “bad thing.” For those who just as staunchly reject the status quo, the ban against non-heterosexual love promotes injustice and oppression within and beyond the church. In both cases, the seeming rightness of one’s cause has justified any means for achieving the same end, namely retaining or gaining the power to say who is fit to be part of God’s household and to share in God’s ministry. As with sexual misconduct in all its forms, this longtime dispute isn't about sex; it’s about power.

In their quest for such power, both church factions have wounded hundreds of people over the past 45 years, and it’s this harm that has poisoned the integrity of both perspectives. United Methodists who hold traditional views on human sexuality have been characterized as hate-filled monsters, while United Methodists who accept LGBTQ people have been demonized as faithless apostates. In short, neither side has shown much love for the other as children of God.

Dr. David N. Field, a member of the Commission on A Way Forward who keynoted the Uniting Methodists conference, contended that for Methodism’s founder John Wesley, even the merest talk of schism constituted a failure to love. Dr. Field quoted Wesley’s sermon “On Schism”:

“To separate ourselves from a body of living Christians, with whom we were before united, is a grievous breach of the law of love. It is the nature of love to unite us together; and the greater the love, the stricter the union. And while this continues in its strength, nothing can divide those whom love has united. It is only when our love grows cold, that we can think of separating from our brethren. And this is certainly the case with any who willingly separate from their Christian brethren. The pretenses for separation may be innumerable, but want of love is always the real cause; otherwise they would still hold the unity of the Spirit in the bound of peace. It is therefore contrary to all those commands of God, wherein brotherly love is enjoined: To that of St. Paul, ‘Let brotherly love continue:’ -- that of St. John, ‘My beloved children, love one another;’ -- and especially to that of our blessed Master, ‘This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you’ Yea, ‘By this,’ saith he, ‘shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye love one another.’"

Love, not power or sex, poses the greatest hurdle as the church considers the three “sketches” put forth by the Council of Bishops from the Way Forward Commission’s interim report. While many commentators have assessed the sketches from organizational or political viability, no one to date has evaluated them on a spiritual basis.

Dr. Field proposed that a spiritual analysis of the Way Forward options would lead to questions such as:

  • How does retaining the current stances on homosexual practice, called Option 1, demonstrate Christ-like love for LGBTQ United Methodists, their families and friends?
  • How does loosening the language on homosexual practice, called Option 2, show Christ-like love for those who adhere to traditional Christian teachings on human sexuality?
  • How would creating some new kind of United Methodist denomination, as in Option 3, enable the church to focus on the mission of sharing Christ’s love with all for the transformation of the world?

If the actions of the past 45 years have shown us anything, it’s that the spiritual illness of The United Methodist Church isn’t whether acceptance of the range of human sexuality violates holiness. Sadly, as shown by the delegates’ behavior at the 2016 General Conference, the true spiritual cancer on the United Methodist soul is that we’ve stopped loving one another as sisters and brothers in Christ.

It will take much courage to confront our lack our love, for these same 2016 delegates are going to decide the fate of the proposals coming to the specially called 2019 General Conference. Now is the time for rank-and-file United Methodists to urge, encourage, even plead with our delegates to clear our poisoned atmosphere through self-sacrificing kindness, and to proceed to seek a future for the church that will follow God’s love for all.

This is our slender thread of hope for the future: Can we love one another even though we’ve done “bad things?”

Cynthia B. Astle serves as Editor of United Methodist Insight, which she founded in 2011.